Monday, July 27, 2009

Storms and Sacrifices

I apologize to my loyal readers for my scant posting over the past few weeks. Things have been extremely busy lately. Work has been busy, as usual, but I will be taking a vacation that begins today and ends next Tuesday. Although this is a much-needed vacation, I had a lot to do to get my projects in good order before I left. So that has been keeping me busy.

This week's vacation also involves my family coming out to Colorado for my nephew's wedding. So I've been busy getting my home ready for everyone's arrival. Most of my cleaning is done and most of my laundry is washed. Tonight I was planning on making a big shopping trip to make sure I have enough food and drinks to last through the week. It is pretty much the last big thing I needed to do.

The weather has been bad for most of the day with lots of rain and lightning and thunder. By the time I got home and had my dinner, it looked like the weather had cleared up. But when I left my apartment there was a light drizzle. I didn't think it would get any worse, so I went on my merry way to Liquor Mart to pick up some beer, wine, and other adult beverages. When I got out of Liquor Mart the clouds were looking darker and I could see some lightning and hear some thunder in the distance. I wanted to go to the grocery store to get the food, but the closer I got to the store, the more it started to rain. As I was driving I also saw huge bolts of lightning shooting across the sky and the thunder was ripping through the air. Then the rain really started. Things were looking pretty bad so I just gave up on my grocery shopping trip and decided to go home. By the time I pulled into my parking lot, it was pretty much a hurricane and there was a torrential downpour. I grabbed a case of beer and ran frantically to my building hoping that I would make it inside before I got struck by lightning. By the time I got to my door I was soaked. I looked out the window and the lightning was intense. It was so bad that I left a case of wine in my trunk, because I was too afraid to go out there!

Fortunately things have calmed down a bit and I've been able to retrieve my wine. But, man, that was a crazy storm! Maybe God is trying to tell me that I drink too much...

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Busy, Busy, Busy

I apologize to my loyal readers for going an entire week without an update. I've been busy and haven't had much time to write. The week at work was another busy one, but fortunately it was a very productive one. There was something about our department lunch fiasco and what I, in turn, wrote about it in my last post that recharged me. Writing about it was freeing and it somehow helped me to purge a lot of the toxic emotions. Surprisingly, I was able to come into work on Monday with a new focus and energy, and because of this I felt very driven and was able to get a lot accomplished. It's as if my world got a much-needed shift and turn and now I'm back on the right axis. I'm focusing on the things that matter, the people that matter, and I'm learning to let go of the things that don't matter as much. It is quite liberating!

Things have also been busy because next week, I will be taking a vacation/furlough while my family comes out to Colorado for a visit. So I've been busy getting my place in order before their arrival. In spite of living in my new apartment for about one year, there are still a lot of things I haven't done and things I haven't finished. Now that this place is bigger, I have a lot more walls and bigger walls and some of these walls are still in need of decoration. The bookcases that I've been meaning to buy for months and months still need to be bought. On the other hand, there is something almost charming about having some books just stacked against the wall or piled into a box or crate. But I suppose none of this will matter to my family considering all that we care about is being together. All I need to do is make sure everything is clean, and I'll be happy.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Appreciation and Happiness

The financial pain of the struggling economy and company belt-tightening are really starting to take a toll on some of the employees at work. No one likes the mandatory furlough days. OK, so people might like the time off, but no one likes the reduced paychecks. When each person is struggling to pay his or her own bills or to take care of his or her own family, it is natural to get frustrated when money is so tight. It is natural to be angry. But, in my opinion, it is only natural up to a point. Some people are really angry and really miserable. Though these are natural emotions given the times, it becomes exhausting when people are angry and miserable ALL THE TIME. The atmosphere becomes toxic when a person comes into the office every morning with a loud crash after throwing their bags, keys, water bottles, coffee mugs, or whatever on their desk. You can just sense the resentment they are feeling with just being in the office. It becomes toxic to see people stomping around the office all day with scowls on their faces. Being a Pisces I tend to feed off of the emotions of those around me. When people around me are in good moods, then my mood is happy. When people around me are angry or frustrated or in a foul mood, then that brings my mood down. I'm sure my blood pressure has been through the roof over the past week or two.

Whenever I find myself in this situation, I try to collect myself and try to calm myself down. Usually all it takes is for me to think of the people in my life who are happy and who have a more positive outlook on life. Although I have many friends who have positive attitudes, the one friend I think about often is one who unfortunately passed away several years ago. We used to work together and she had stage-four cancer. If anyone had a right to be angry or bitter or miserable or selfish, it was her. She, however, was NONE of those things. She knew her fate, but she dealt with it with quiet acceptance. She never looked for or asked for pity or sympathy.

The company we worked for at the time was in awful shape. Our CEO was incompetent, and our manager was incompetent, dumb, and ignorant. The place was run into the ground and we were all angry and upset about what was going on. My friend was upset, too, but she didn't let it overwhelm and consume her life. She knew that there are things about life that you can change and things that you can't change. There was nothing we could have changed about the company, so you sometimes just have to deal with it. She wasn't giving up and she wasn't settling, but she was being practical and keeping things in perspective. There are some things worth getting upset over, but there are many more things that aren't worth it. She knew what was important in her life and she focused on those things intently and passionately. She knew that her time left was limited, so she appreciated and cherished the things that were most important to her. In spite of whatever pain she was feeling, the love in her soul brought her a happiness that far outshines the "happiness" that I see in most of the people I know. All of this hinged on her appreciation for what she had and her willingness to let go of the petty, insignificant, and unimportant things.

My friend's attitude and approach to life does many things for me. One, it makes me disgusted to see people obsess over petty, unimportant things. But the most important thing it does for me is that it reminds me to cherish and appreciate all of the wonderful things and people I have in my life. I might not have a huge salary, I might not have a huge house, I might not have a fancy car, and I might not be able to spend money on frivolous things, but I have everything I need to survive. I'm able to pay my rent and my bills, I have a nice apartment, and I have a dependable car that will last forever. I have a wonderful and beautiful family and group of friends, and that is what I cherish most.

Recently some of my co-workers were expressing outrage over having to pay for their own meals at a department lunch to welcome a new employee. There was quite the uproar as they stomped about angrily expressing how unfair and outrageous it was for us to pay for our own lunch. Overhearing this initially made me extremely angry, and I pretty much flew off the handle and told them that they were being selfish and unwelcoming. Now it just fills me with pity. This, paying for a meal at lunch, is what causes anger and outrage? This is what can put a person into such an ugly and foul mood and ruin the rest of a person's week? Try spending three or four years of your life battling cancer. $10 or $12 for one lunch on one day doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Monday, July 06, 2009

The Rewrite

When I graduated from high school, I didn't go straight into a four-year university. Instead, I went to a community college. I had friends that went to places like USC, UCLA, or Boston College, and I was somewhat of the laughingstock of my circle of friends because I didn't immediately go to a big name university. I didn't really care what they thought. When I was enrolled, I was paying only about $12 per unit, while they were probably paying $1,200. And I was lucky to have professors who actually cared more about teaching than publishing articles or books. Even though I was at a community college and getting a "cheap" education, I nevertheless got a great education.

One of the best classes I took was a college writing course. I had an amazing professor and one of the things that she stressed was rewriting. She thought that one of the best ways to improve your writing skills and to strengthen your arguments was to constantly rewrite. Some rewording and some restructuring can make a world of difference in your writing. So, having been trained in that way, I'm still constantly reworking everything I write. And that includes this blog. I am not a journalist, and this blog isn't known around the world. This blog is personal and casual and informal, but I usually try my best to sound literate and coherent. I often write in haste, surely leaving behind a trail of errors here and there. But I think I also leave a trail of errors by overwriting. Restructuring sentences and rewording can leave their own trail of embarrassing errors.

Where am I going? What is the point of this post? Oh, I suppose this is in response to my own personal horror that I felt after rereading some of my recent posts and noticing a few errors. Apparently I don't always make use of my career as an editor before posting what I write! Anyway, all of this is a disclaimer to say that eventually I will fix all those errors that you might read in this blog.

There really isn't much of a point in this post...

Furlough

I'm at home today and we're coming to the end of a four-day weekend. Friday was considered a holiday because it came before the Fourth of July. We are off today because this is the week when we start our summer furlough period. Everyone at work is excited to have an extra long weekend right now. I'm somewhat excited to have the time off because I work myself to near death on most days. I like having the extra day to sleep in, to be lazy, and to get some chores done or errands run. However, this isn't exactly a vacation and it isn't a holiday. It's a mandatory day off and we're not getting paid for it. I suppose this day off is a double-edged sword, or it is bittersweet, or it is whatever cliche you might want to use right now. I am grateful for the day off and for a chance to rest, but I would really like the money more. However, I suppose that I need to look on the brighter side. I need to endure the negatives and appreciate the positives. My salary might be reduced for the next three months, but I'm fortunate to still have a job. There are a lot of people out there in the world who are in worse shape than me right now. And, I'm not only fortunate just to have a job, but I'm fortunate to have a cool job. I help to make books, books that are sold in bookstores and books that people actually read. How cool is that? I might not be making $50,000 or $60,000 a year (or more), but I genuinely enjoy what I'm doing. Money can make things easier and it can buy a lot of things, but, as the old saying goes, it can't buy happiness. And, in spite of somewhat rough times right now, I still have a wonderfully supportive family and a few thoughtful friends. In the end, that is all that matters to me.

Current mood: resting and rejuvenating
Current music: Heather Small "Proud" (QAF mix)
Current drink: coffee

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Saturation

I'll be the first to admit that I am a Michael Jackson fan. I grew up in the 80s and I used to live in Michigan in a city not too far from Detroit (i.e. Motown). You would hear his songs on the radio and my brothers had all of his albums. I had a VHS tape of "Thriller" that I would watch all the time, and I even had a little red, faux leather jacket that looked like the jacket he wore in the video. I even had a Michael Jackson action figure/doll. So when I heard that he died, I was shocked and sad and thought that it was a shame. I thought it was a shame because he never had the chance to live a normal life. Immediately after his death there was wall-to-wall coverage about him and what might have happened. A small—very small—portion of the coverage was positive. Stations like MTV and VH1 were showing his videos. Considering MTV and VH1 have turned into Reality TV and seem to have not shown videos in about 15 years, this is huge for them and it is almost sad that it takes the death of a singer for them to go back to their roots. But here you saw the creativity and genius in his videos and you could appreciate his talent as a singer and dancer.

But most of the coverage of Michael Jackson's death has been in the style of a tabloid magazine. Once the news broke of his death, CNN had non-stop coverage and discussion about his death. On one side of the screen, some "expert" or "friend" would be talking about something, but on the other side of the screen was a parade of images. You saw him dangling his baby over the balcony, arriving to court in pajamas, going to Disneyland with a group of children, all suggesting strange or salacious behavior. Then they showed a series of images of how his appearance has changed over the years. CNN is not alone; other TV stations have been doing the same thing. There have been shows that are supposed to be "tributes" or "remembrances," but what they showed was every questionable or "freakish" thing that has gone on in his life. Then at the end of the show, in the final five or ten minutes, they would say "when we come back, we look at what really mattered, the music and the talent." Well, if that is what really mattered, why did you spend 50 minutes showing the scandalous aspects of his life?

Although his death is sad, I'm really getting sick of hearing about it on the news. You can't get away from it. Just when you think that some other important event occurs in the news—like a war, a governor getting caught with a mistress, another governor resigning before finishing out one term, or what is supposed to be an important holiday—some other Michael Jackson news story takes over. Who is going to get custody of the kids? What prescription drugs did he have? How much is he in debt? How much will he be worth now that he is dead? Why didn't he like his appearance? What is Bubbles the Chimp doing now? It is sad and pathetic that even in death every detail of his life is being picked apart. I wish they would focus on him more as an entertainer and less as a freak show. But because of the kind of coverage his death has been getting, I really am sick of hearing about it and I want to know what else is going on in the world. It is all a little too much. You can't turn on the TV without hearing about it.

Where is a good
Law & Order episode when you need it?

Friday, July 03, 2009

Huh?

I've been sitting here for nearly 20 minutes watching Sarah Palin's resignation speech, and I have no idea what the hell she is saying. For a brief moment I thought that maybe it was Tina Fey mocking Sarah Palin, but sadly it was the real Sarah Palin. It had to be the most rambling, babbling speech I've ever seen and heard. I've seen grade school kids give better book reports than that.

So why is she resigning? Who knows. Maybe she plans on running for senate in 2010 or president in 2012. If she is going to run for senate or president, she will need to start reading a few newspapers and that could take a year or two (or three) to do that. So maybe she just wanted to clear her schedule and free up some time.