A Return to the Blog

It has been a very long time since I've last posted something here. It's been well over a year, I think. So, why did I stop writing? Why did I disappear? I suppose a big part of me just got tired of myself. I was tired of what I was writing day after day, then week after week, then month after month. Somehow I found myself stuck in a rut and in what seemed like an endless cycle of doing the same exact thing day after day. Work got incredibly busy and unfortunately it managed to take over my life. I would work long hours, take work home with me, and work over the weekend. In the free time I had, I really felt no motivation to do anything. I posted on my blog because I, for some reason, felt compelled to, but at a point I was getting depressed about what I was writing. How exciting and interesting is it to constantly write about how tired I was because work was always busy? At the time absolutely nothing inspired me and I didn't feel moved or motivated to write anything interesting or clever or creative. So I just stopped. I doubt the world felt a great loss by my disappearance, but for whatever reason I feel compelled to write here.

So, what has happened in the past year? Well, things with work haven't changed. It's still busy and there were a few months ago where I was working about 50 or 60 hours a week. Because I don't get paid overtime, because we only get a 2 percent cost-of-living raise every year, and because we don't exactly get recognized for working long hours, my New Year's resolution was to NOT work so much. I'm going to try to force myself to keep my work-life balance, and ideally I'd like the scales tipped more toward the "life" end. But I don't really want to talk about work, because I've done enough of that over the years.

The real life-changing event happened last year when my father passed away. His health had been failing for the past few years, and he would have periods when he was ill, but then he would "bounce back" and get better. Toward the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013, his health really started to decline. He was in and out of hospitals, spent time in emergency rooms and ICUs, and even spent time in a nursing home, before my mom and brother decided to bring him home in May 2013 for hospice care. Selfishly speaking, living so far from home was incredibly painful because there was nothing I could do to help him or to help my mom and brother who were taking care of him. I went home on May 29, and he passed away the next day. My mom, brother, sister and her family, and I were all with him when he passed. My other brothers and a nephew came a few days later, and we were all together for his memorial service. As difficult and as painful as the time was, we were all fortunate to be together. We could laugh and cry together as we remembered him. Some day I will write more about him and about the man he was, but I'm crying a little too much to do that right now.

Thus begins my return to my blog. We'll see what I can manage to pull together for 2014...