What's Going On In There?

I'm cooking my dinner right now, and in the process I managed to steam up all of the windows in my apartment. Oh well. I like to make my neighbors wonder...

It's been snowing for most of the afternoon, and the weather people are saying that we might have another big snowstorm. Looks like I'll be digging out in a few days.

Christmas Eve Dinner 2006

Because of the blizzard and problems at the airport, I decided to cancel my vacation home, so I spent this Christmas alone at home in Boulder. I did not let that get me down, though. I just finished a very nice Christmas Eve dinner. It wasn't quite as good as my Ma's cooking, but I do the best I can. On tonight's menu: chicken (marinated in garlic, thyme, salt, pepper, red wine vinegar, Dijon mustard, and a tad of olive oil), green beans, and garlic mashed potatoes. Along with it, I drank a Chateau St. Michelle Riesling.

My dinner guests...

We still had a lot of snow from the recent blizzard, but our white Christmas was made even whiter with some more snow.

Digging Out

Well, the Great Blizzard of 2006 has ended, and thus begins the Great Dig Out of 2006. Yesterday, I spent some time cleaning the top of my car. I mostly just wanted to take some of the weight of the snow off the poor little thing. This morning, I decided to clear away some of the snow surrounding my car. At some point during the night or early this morning, a plow must have come through to clear our parking lot. My car had already been buried by the blizzard, but now it was buried even more by a giant snowbank created by the plow. And, to make things more interesting, the plow decided to push all, not some, but all of the snow into an empty parking slot right next to my driver's side door. In spite of the fact that I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, I still wanted to clear away some of the snow, if anything, just to make it melt a little faster. Since I don't own a shovel, I was mostly just breaking up the snow and pushing it away with a broom. Fortunately the snow from this blizzard is pretty light and airy rather than the heavy and wet snow we often get, so the broom works reasonably well. I'm taking a break right now, but will go back to tackling it later. This is just a lesson to me that at some point, I need to invest in a good shovel just in case this ever happens again.

Still Snowing

I still can't get through with the airlines, so I'm going to keep taking pictures and keep blogging. I suppose we are fortunate in the fact that we haven't lost power here in Boulder. And, surprising, in spite of all the snow it really isn't that cold. It is in the 20s, but that isn't so bad. In fact, I feel comfortable going outside with just a thermal shirt, sweatshirt, and a hat. Yes, I should probably be wearing a coat and gloves, but I don't stay out for long. The clouds seem to be thinning out and the sun is trying to shine through which is a good start to the Great Thaw of 2006! The roads are still in bad shape so who knows when things will be completely back to normal.

In front of my apartment.









Where the sidewalk ends... And, no, I didn't shovel this myself. Perish the thought!

The top of the Flatirons.

BLIZZARD 2006

If someone ever makes a Blizzard of 2006 T-shirt (and you know some entrepreneur will capitalize on this), I just might buy it.

Well, it is the morning of December 21, and I am still in Colorado and there isn't much of a chance that I will be able to leave for the next few days. I've been calling the airline all morning to make arrangements for a new flight, but in our day and age of computers and technology, I usually spend about five minutes trying to "talk" to an automated operator. After many, many tries of trying to find the right way into the back door, I realized that if I answer "I don't know" to the important questions they (the royal, computerized "they") will transfer me to a customer service rep. The only unfortunate thing is that the moment "they" transfer me, I get a busy signal and then I am disconnected. I'm not surprised, of course, because I'm sure the volume of calls they are receiving is overwhelming. I just want to talk to a human being. Oh well. I suppose I have to keep trying. Meanwhile, here are some more pictures of the morning after.


I think that large mound of snow in the center of the picture is a car.













My car, again, under almost two feet of snow.

Snow

My car under sixteen inches of snow.
















You have to admit, it is beautiful...

White Christmas

If circumstances were ideal, I would have been in California right now for my Christmas vacation. Unfortunately I live in Colorado, and we've been hit by a horrible blizzard. My initial 12:00 flight was cancelled, and I was booked for a later 5:00 flight. Now the airport is closed entirely and all flights are cancelled until tomorrow. I'm even concerned that I'll be able to leave tomorrow night because the snow isn't slowing down.

So It Begins

In yesterday's post, I began composing my list of new year's resolutions. One of them was to save money. I'm going to try to get serious about this. Earlier today, a co-worker and I were talking about our money issues. We both live alone, so neither of us is able to split the rent and utilities with anyone. We're both single, so there isn't a boyfriend or husband (or girlfriend, in my case) who can help bring in a second income. And we're both involved in publishing which usually doesn't bring in a huge salary. We both talked about our splurges and the fact that we sometimes buy things that we don't necessarily need. She likes shoes. I like things from Victoria's Secret. So we both agreed to make a serious commitment to saving money.

I took a few small steps tonight. I decided to cancel my Netflix subscription. It's not much but it will save me about $17.00 a month. Besides, one of my other resolutions was to watch less TV and spend more time reading. Maybe this will kill two birds with one stone. I also decided to take a few credit cards out of my wallet. If I don't have them with me, I can't use them, right? Most notably, I took out my Old Navy card and my Victoria's Secret Angel card. I sealed them in an envelope and I sealed the envelope with packing tape. I tried to be realistic with myself, so I wrote the date March 7, 2007 on the envelope. I promised myself that I can't open the envelope before that date. That date happens to be my birthday, so if I should decide to buy myself a gift, then I'll open it for that one day. I'll be turning 32 that day, so who knows if I will be excited or depressed to buy something sexy! If I don't buy something that day, then all the better.

This is all a small step, but at least it is a step. Now I am going to pour myself a glass of cognac and enjoy every sip of it, because who knows how long it will be before I am able to buy another bottle.

New Year, New Promises

I normally don't make new year's resolutions, probably because I lack willpower and any ability to commit to anything. Perhaps that's an exaggeration. But, maybe, just maybe, if I put my resolutions down in writing, albeit cyber writing, then maybe I'll stick to things a little better. Here we go. We'll see how I do in a few months.

1. Save money! This means no more unnecessary shopping trips to Victoria's Secret, Old Navy, Borders, Barnes & Noble, and any other such places. And just because I want a shiny new toy (like a cool digital camera), that doesn't mean that I have to buy it.

2. Eat healthier and exercise more. I've become a lazy bum over the past year. I need to change this and try to get back into shape.

3. Watch less TV and read more books. These days when I get home from work, I usually just plop down on the couch and watch TV for the rest of the night. It's a mindless way to waste away the night after a long hard day at work. But I think it is time my brain got a little more exercise, too.

4. Brush up on my Greek and Latin. I haven't been studying my Greek and Latin as much as I want to because of the aforementioned desire to plop down on the couch after work to watch TV the whole night. Maybe I'll make it my goal to read all of Homer's Odyssey (in Greek) before the year is over. Damn, that is ambitious! And insane!

5. To be a better person in general. This is probably a long shot even longer than eating healthier and exercising more. I suppose I want to be more even-keeled. I want to be less moody and I want to let things roll off my back the way they used to. I want to be more serious about the right things and less serious about the wrong things, if that makes sense. Mostly I want to go back to my loving, caring, and affectionate self and let go of the paranoid, distant, scared, and standoffish self. We'll see how I do...

Possibly, more to come later...

What Book Am I Editing?

This is why I often have a difficult time focusing at work. This is what I see when I look out my window.




Looking west at about 10:00 a.m.

Looking up at about 4:00 p.m.

Promethea

I stand alone
Surrounded by space
Covered by the night
Blinded by the darkness
I stand
Imprisoned
Bound
Arms and limbs weak from struggle
Flesh and skin torn by the chains that lock me
Warm blood sizzles in the snow staining it deep red
Screams and cries echo into silence
Steam from my hot breath fades into the cold air
I stand
Helpless and exposed
A feast for the eagle
I stand
A toy, a pawn
Mocked by the gods
My torture, my torment unending
Their joy, their pleasure eternal

Books and History

I decided to get serious today about cleaning my apartment. Today I wanted to tackle my books and bookcases. I already Pledged the bookcases, dusted my books with my little Swiffer duster (it is gentle on my books), and rearranged my books on the shelves. I have a lot of books--the result of several years in college and grad school. The sad thing is that the books I have here in Colorado are only the ones I used while I was studying Classics. I have boxes and boxes of books back home in California. Those books are from the years when I was an English major, so you can imagine how many more books I have. One of these days when I have enough money to buy my own place with a little more room for a library, I'm going to put all of my books together. As much as I love the Classics (and by Classics I mean Greek and Latin), I miss reading the other "classics." Sometimes you just want to put down the Aeschylus, Aristotle, Plato, and Homer, and you want to pick up Austen, Fitzgerald, Faulkner, or Hemingway instead. It will be nice one of these days to have a complete library of all of my books. As I think of it, I must have about 200-300 books total, and I can't even imagine how much it is all worth. There are some books, though, that you can't put a price on like a copy of Homer's Iliad (in Greek) that was printed in 1870.


On the inside of the front cover is a written note "From L. & E. M. Fisher, Dec. 25, 1886." It was obviously a Christmas gift to someone. Inside the book is a slip of paper that the previous reader was using as a bookmark. It looks like it was a single sheet from a page-a-day type of calendar. This sheet has a nice, ink drawing of what I assume to be a bank. In fact it is from the "Ohio National Bank on Cor. High and Town Sts. in Columbus, Ohio." They offer "Foreign Exchange, Money Orders, and Travelers' Cheques." The date on this calendar sheet is Tuesday, October 8, 1929. It's interesting to imagine that about 21 days later the stock market crashed on October 29 and not long after there was the Great Depression. I wonder what happened to this book. Did the owner keep it because it is something precious? Or did the owner have to sell it just to make some money to get through a few days during the Depression? It is amusing to consider the history of this book and to think of the fact that it is in my hands now.

Captured

Well, I went out and did it. I finally bought myself a very cool digital camera. I'm considering it a Christmas bonus to myself. I'm still playing with it and trying to figure out all of the features. I'm usually pretty tech savvy, but sometimes I feel like an orangutan handling this thing.



Don't worry! I don't leave my candles unattended, especially when they are around my precious books. I'm sure the Classicists out there will derive a tingle of joy from seeing those cute, little green and red books. And, yes, I did drink the cognac. It is one of the many sacrifices we make for the sake of "art."

The Law

Here are some great stories about the legal system in action. And we wonder why the rest of the world thinks we're nuts. And to think that we want to spread our style of democracy and law throughout the world. These stories are especially interesting to me because I have lived in California and I currently live in Boulder, Colorado, and I work with several lawyers.

Hacky Sack is not Juggling

What's My Name?

Winter

Icicles and trees through my dirty bedroom window. Maybe one of these days I will buy a real digital camera. I kind of like taking pictures.

Silly Me

Have you ever had one of those days where you just get home from work and pull into the parking lot of your apartment complex. You look on the passenger seat and grab your hat, but where are your gloves? You look on the floor. You look under the seat. You look in the back seat. You check the pockets of your jacket. Where are they? Did I leave them on my desk at work? Where are they? Where? Where? Where? Ah, maybe you put them in your purse or bag. Well, they are not in your bag, but have you ever discovered that they were on your hands and that you were wearing them? I'm not asking this for any particular reason, really... I'm just curious about what other people experience...

Ugh, my apartment is a mess. Maybe I should clean tonight...

Current mood: tired
Current drink: milk

What is the Temperature in California??

As to be expected, not long after I return home from California we are hit with a heavy snowstorm here in Colorado. The snow started early in the evening yesterday, and it continued through much of the day today. This morning I had to clear about 8 inches of snow off my car before I could start my drive to work. Needless to say, the roads were tough to drive on at times. The surface streets and on- and off-ramps were the worst parts of the drive. And, naturally, you still have the foolish drivers who like to speed and weave in and out of traffic in spite of the snow and ice. They can do as they will, and tough poo poo if they end up in a ditch with multiple fractures and head injuries. Serves them right. I just prefer to take it slow and easy. You can pass me if you want. I like my car, and I like my life, so I'm not going to risk anything.

The drive and the cold might be bad, but it is beautiful. Here is a view from my apartment...



And just in case it gets cold...

I'm Back

It has been a long time since I have last written something. Apologies to my faithful readers. I took a little surprise vacation home for Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful time. It is always great to spend time with the family and the puppies. Of course, having such a wonderful time off makes it all the more difficult to wake up for work the next morning. I spent most of the morning in a daze and I was tired after a late flight. If I were smart, I would have taken an extra day off today. But instead of being smart, I decided to be a good employee and come back to work with the rest of the office. I don't feel so bad about being in a daze all day because everyone else in the office was pretty much in the same state of mind. Most people were so tired that they could barely put a sentence together, so I don't feel so bad. Needless to say, I took things easy today and tried to ease back into work. This meant that I spent most of my time answering e-mail, returning calls, and reorganizing my projects. I was glad that an hour of the day was dedicated to an interview. We have an open position in our department, so I helped with the interview. Needless to say, I will be happy when we officially hire him! :)

I suppose that I will have to do "real" work tomorrow. Or maybe I can plan my Christmas vacation. I think I might spend the rest of the evening tidying up my apartment, paying some bills, and drinking a glass of cognac...not necessarily in that order...

A Poem

Drowsy and drifting
Clouded and confused
Is it a dream
A darkened room
Lying atop cool cotton sheets
Skin, soft and smooth
Hot flesh pressed and melting together
Lips and kisses, hands and embraces
Moving and lingering and straying at a dizzying pace
Impatient passion
Insatiable hunger
Unquenchable desire
Unlimited ecstasy


--Well, it's not much of a poem. It doesn't even have a real title. It is certainly what I am feeling right now and what I am thinking. For some reason, I just feel tongue tied. I know what I want to say, but I just can't seem to say it. It is not quite good enough for me. I sound cliche, and if you read my other poetry it also sound repetitive. I just wanted to write it down before it slipped my mind completely. I was fortunate to have some great writing professors at the junior college I went to. They taught me that the most important thing in writing is to just write. Just put your thoughts on the page. It may not be good. It may not be what you intend or want. But the thoughts are there, and eventually you can work with them. Maybe this is just a work in progress. Maybe inspiration, somehow, in some form, will descend upon me. Until then...

Bad People, Wind, and Sunsets

Bad People: It seems as if some bad people are prowling around our office building. Two co-workers have noticed that their cars have been keyed in our office parking lot. Who the heck scratches up cars that are parked right next to an office building? I think my car is okay, but I need to check it tomorrow morning when it's not dark out. Fortunately, though, I park my car where I can see it from my office window. And since I obviously have an undiagnosed case of ADD and have a tendency to stare out the window and daydream when I should be working, I would probably see someone if they were lurking around my car. I really hope that no one does any damage to my car. After all, I don't think Santa will bring me a nice present this year if he were to find out that I broke someone's legs for messing with my car...

Wind: The weather really cooled off over the weekend, and yesterday there was a good rainfall that was almost snow. What is bad right now are the winds. When I went out for lunch this afternoon I was nearly blown off my feet. But that happens when you are little like me. It is fun, though, to try to dodge tumbleweeds that roll across the roads.

Sunsets: The winds may not have been all that fun, but the sunset this evening was absolutely beautiful. I just can't explain how beautiful it is to see the sun set behind the mountains when they are dusted with snow. I love watching the sun set into the ocean, but this is beautiful too. Some people don't like this time of year because it gets dark so early. I kind of like it. There is something cozy and romantic about it.

And speaking of cozy and romantic, I'm sure there is a poem in me somewhere, I'm just waiting for it to come out. Be patient, faithful readers...

Construction, Stupid People, Circus Peanuts, and the Weather

Construction: there has been a lot of construction in my area these days. I guess the city wants to finish their construction before the real snow starts to fall. One thing still confuses me, though. I keep wondering why the city of Boulder tends to do their major construction when school starts or during the peak of the semester. This is always when the most students are around and when there are the most cars on the road. For some odd reason, there is hardly any construction during the summer when the city is much quieter.

Stupid People: stupid people tend to be at their most stupid when there is construction. When a big orange sign says that the lane is about to close and that you need to merge into another lane, don't look surprised when you run out of road. Don't be surprised when you suddenly have to merge. And, of all things, don't be that idiot that speeds past the traffic and tries to cut in at the last minute. And, people, when traffic starts to back up, don't enter the intersection unless you know you can make it through without blocking traffic. How many times do I have to wait through a green light because you idiots keep trying to go through the intersection when you clearly shouldn't? You look like an idiot because you are parked in the middle of the intersection with nowhere to go and you look like an even bigger idiot because other people are upset with you because you are blocking their way.

Circus Peanuts: I just looked under the ingredients on a bag of circus peanuts. It contains that warning that the product "may contain milk and peanuts." Peanuts? What? Are they kidding? Are there really peanuts in circus peanuts? I've had plenty of circus peanuts and nothing in a circus peanut comes even close to resembling a real peanut.

The Weather: The weather has been odd lately. We are already in our second week of November and the temperature today was in the 70s. I suppose this doesn't mean much in Colorado, because there is always the chance that tomorrow we can have a blizzard that drops three or four feet on the state within a few hours. The weather would be perfect if I were sitting on a patio having a few beers with some friends. It might be hard to believe, but I wish there was a little more winter in the air...but not too much winter. I like chilly weather, but I don't want it to be too cold. I don't mind a decent snowfall, but I definitely don't want to deal with ice. I guess I do like a certain crispness in the air. I have a childlike fondness for seeing the steam from my breath, and there is something cozy about bundling up in a warm jacket. I like the smell of the cold air and it is made even better if you can smell a fireplace burning in the distance. And it is okay to be cold when you have a good glass of wine or cognac in your hand.

Current mood: annoyed with construction and stupid people, perplexed by circus peanuts, calmed by the weather.
Current drink: root beer...too early for cognac
Current food: circus peanuts
Current music: Beth Waters This Little Piggy

Look Both Ways and Say Thank You

When you live in Boulder, you are bound to encounter a lot of pedestrian and bicycle traffic. The closer you are to campus, the more people and bicycles you'll find. By now, I've gotten use to it when I'm flying around in my car. I know where the students tend to walk so I know where and when to slow down. I'm fine with the amount of people, but what I am not fine with are the people who think they own the road or who don't pay attention to where they are going. Pedestrians and cyclists have the right of way and I'll happily grant them that. I just wish more of them would look at the traffic and cars when they decide to cross the street. I can't even begin to count how many people just cross the street without the slightest glance to the left or right. Maybe I grew up in a different generation, but when I was growing up my parents taught me to look both ways before crossing the street. They also taught me that I shouldn't cross the street when a car is approaching. You can never trust the driver. When kids these days cross the street without looking both ways, are they just dumb or are their parents dumb because they didn't teach their kids to look both ways? If the people are crossing the street in a crosswalk, then I will happily slow down or stop. If you're jaywalking, well, then you better just walk faster than I can drive. And remember I'm from California, so I can drive fast!

There is, however, something that annoys me more than people who cross the street without looking both ways. What really annoys me is when you stop for a pedestrian or a bicyclist and they don't acknowledge you with a little thank you. When I stop to let a group of people cross the street, I kind of expect them to maybe look at me, smile at me, or give me a little wave of thanks. Again, this is something my parents taught me, so maybe I'm just expecting everyone else to do the same. Some people are really polite and do this. Others just walk on by. These, of course, are the ones I want to just run over.

This is all annoying and it makes me cranky. It just makes me wonder what happened to common sense and common courtesy. Maybe I just expect too much.

Current drink: Rutherford Hill 2002 Napa Valley Merlot

Winter Dance

The sun sets quietly giving way to night and a canopy of stars. The tired Earth rests beneath a blanket of white and the snow glows brightly in the moonlight. The cold wind swirls, stirring the snow and shaking the naked limbs of the trees as they stretch their thin arms toward the heavens. They comfort us, protect us, as the evening snow begins to fall. We stand together, somehow warm in this crisp air, our breath hot against cheeks and necks and lips. And we move together on a cold winter night as we slow dance in the snow.

I Love My View

The nice thing about my little office at work is that one of my "walls" is actually a huge window. The window extends from wall to wall and from ceiling to practically the floor. Right now, as I look to the left I can see the moon. When I look to the right, I see the sun setting behind the mountains. It is gorgeous! If I wasn't afraid of setting off the sprinkler above my head, why, I would light some candles and get cozy.

Why I Need a See-Through Pantry

I don't know how it happened, but somehow my "pantry" is stocked with about 10 little cans of tomato paste, about 8 cans of either diced or crushed tomatoes, and about 15 pounds of pasta. I suppose I buy things when I don't necessarily need it. But if you go to the store and they have a sale where you can buy one box of pasta and get one box free, then you buy two boxes. I guess I also don't always check my cupboards and "pantry" before I go shopping. If I took a quick look, I would probably know that I don't need another box of bow tie pasta. And to make matters worse, if it is on the top shelf, then forget about it. I'm on the not-so-tall side (okay, I am kind of short), so I can't always see what is on the top shelf if it is tucked away in the back. I suppose this isn't all that bad considering pasta and canned tomatoes can last for a few years. Plus, when you live in Colorado, you never know when a blizzard will hit. With this amount of pasta, I suppose I could be snowed in for a month or more and still have enough to eat.

Current drink: root beer
Current music: Holly Brook Like Blood Like Honey

Early Bird

As much as I love to sleep in, sometimes it pays off to wake up early on the weekends. It seems as if people in Boulder don't wake up before noon on Sundays. Or maybe they are awake, but they are just "conquering" some kind of mountain or river or something. In any event, if you wake up early, you can shop early. And shopping early in Boulder means that you can pretty much have the store all to yourself. That is something that I often like, because when I shop I would rather not be suffocated or crowded by the plebs. I want to just get in a store, get my stuff, and get out. But I finished my shopping early, I just started a load of laundry, and I'm about ready to tidy up my apartment. If only I woke up a tad earlier, it wouldn't be too late to get a sausage and egg McMuffin at McDonald's. I tend to crave the not-so-healthy foods when I'm PMSing.

Current music: John Mayer Continuum

Mission Accomplished

Well, I can finally relax! I finished my big project this afternoon, and I'm glad it is done. For all of the stress I went through, I think all of my efforts are appreciated. That makes me feel better. But, just because I'm finished with this book, that doesn't mean that I can sit idle for the next few weeks. I have nearly 20 other books that need my attention.

Still, I do think I need some kind of reward for doing two months of work in ten days. Hmm, what will it be? A nice dinner? A shopping trip at Old Navy? Maybe Victoria's Secret? A bottle of wine? A bottle of cognac? All of them???

current mood: I rock!
current music: random songs. Currently "Crying" by Roy Orbison and k.d. lang.
current drink: Orange Juice...with a shot of Ketel One vodka...I need my vitamin C after working so hard...and I need to support a Dutch distillery...

"Blizzard"

Well, they said that we were going to have a blizzard. Some parts of the state were hit harder than others. For us, it wasn't that bad. The snow in the morning was wet and heavy which made for a slushy drive. I still took it slow, because you can still slide out of control on slushy roads. Once you make it safely to your destination, though, things look much prettier. I love the snow if I don't have to drive in it. Here is the view outside the window of my office. As you can see, with a view like this, it is sometimes difficult to work. I wish the picture was a little clearer, but this is the best I picture I could take with a camera phone while looking through a window during a snow storm!

Complications

Difficult deadlines...PMS...Now the weather people are predicting a blizzard tomorrow. Can it get any more stressful??

Almost There

Having just inhaled my dinner, I thought I would write a quick post before getting back to work. Things are still ever so busy at work and the next two days in the office are going to be crazy. The big board of directors meeting will be held over the next few days. Fortunately I don't have to do anything special and I don't have to attend any of these meetings. There will just be a lot of people wandering around the office, and many of them will be stopping in everyone's office to try to get to know us and find out what we do. I suppose I'm fortunate to be an editor in the company because the editors are always the odd ones in the office. We're not odd per say, but people think of us as odd because they don't really understand what we really do. Usually when we have visitors to our office, they say "oh, you edit the books? Well it was nice meeting you..." I'm especially fortunate because in addition to being an editor, I am also a Classicist. When I tell people that I edit books for a living and read Greek and Latin for fun, they usually look at me with a somewhat stunned and perplexed look on their face. Ahh, like the Medusa, I can freeze (or turn to stone) a person in an instant.

I'm very close to finishing my big project. It has been difficult and often frustrating, and I will be happy when it is finished. I've decided to pick and choose my battles. The errors that I haven't fixed yet are things that will have to stand until the next edition. I've caught all of the gross errors, so that makes me feel better. Letting go is hard for me because I've been trained by the best (and you know who you are!), and I truly care about the quality of my books. As much as I want to be a perfectionist, I have to let go this time. That is simply for my own peace of mind. The project will end, and at least I find some comfort in knowing that I'm producing something that is better than what I started with.

One Step at a Time

Slowly, ever so slowly, this big project of mine is coming together. Granted, the more I look at it, the more errors I see in the previous edition. I'm cleaning up as much as I possibly can in the time I'm allowed, but unfortunately I don't think I will be able to catch everything. Still, I think that the final book will be a tad better than what I started with.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted. I'm somewhat exhausted emotionally and mentally. Mostly I'm just exhausted physically. My back, my shoulders, my neck are all aching. My back hurts more than anything. You can sit in front of a computer for only so long. Maybe I'm just getting old.

Quick break

You know things are busy when I get up at 8:30 a.m. on a Saturday to work. As much as I wanted to roll out of bed at 10:00 or 11:00 I just have too much to do. Yes, I'll be working all weekend, and most likely I will be working 12-hour days until Friday. As a friend said, when you are competent and experienced you unfortunately get loaded down with the impossible tasks. The other people in my department are certainly competent enough to handle this project. The only difference is that I can do things quicker because I have more experience. Such is life. To add to my workload this weekend, I also took on a small freelance project. This might sound like a dumb move, but I think it might actually be good for me. Working on a different project for a different publisher will be a nice break from what I normally do. Plus, this freelance project is for a good friend who I just can't say "no" to because she is just too darn cute. Yes, I'm whipped, but I can admit it.

Current mood: stressed and overwhelmed
Current drink: coffee, Seattle's Best House Blend (both organic and fair trade!!)
Current music: more songs from my iTunes library. Currently Anna Nalick's "Breathe"

Pretty, but Dangerous

The snow on the trees is absolutely beautiful. But when too much snow falls too fast on trees that are still full of leaves, you have to watch your head. A huge limb from a tree across the street from my apartment just crashed to the street. And did I say that it is HUGE?! It makes me a little nervous considering there is a similar tree right in front of my apartment. I hope a tree limb doesn't come crashing through my roof!

It's Snowing!!!

SNOW! Big fat snowflakes!

I'm looking out my window here in the office and we are having a good snowfall right now. It's not quite sticking to the grass or pavement yet, but it is starting to stick to the windshields of the cars. This storm was supposed to hit later in the day, but it came in early. If it gets really bad, maybe we'll have a snow day!!

Dream of Me...

Dark skies
White moon, waning slowly
Stars that wink and smile
Late nights
Sleepless, restless
Close your eyes
See me
Imagine me
Feel me
Holding you in my arms
Kissing you softly, gently
Rest quietly
Dream of me tonight...

Under the Gun

So the question of the day is, can I copyedit, typeset, and proofread a 400 page book in about ten days? And when I say "I," I mean I. No freelance copy editor. No freelance typesetter. No freelance proofreader. Just me. Should be great fun.

Hopeful Nights

In an earlier post, I said that I was going to save my $30 bottle of Merlot for a night when it was cold and when it started to snow. I couldn't wait. I decided to open it tonight. I tried a hot shower, and that couldn't relax my muscles. So I thought that maybe a nice glass (or two) of Merlot would do the trick. My body still feels tight for some reason. I think I just need to make an appointment with someone to get a massage. I think I need a professional (or a good friend) to work out some of the tension. The one good thing I can say right now is that my head feels at ease. Hopefully my mind will not race tonight. Hopefully I will be able to get a decent night of sleep. Hopefully my dreams will be better tonight.

To my faithful readers, I hope that your dreams are sweet tonight...

Current drink: Swanson 2002 Oakville Merlot
Current mood: tired

Restless Nights

Today my body has been tense and achy. For once, this has nothing to do with working too long, hunched over a computer. I didn't sleep so well last night because I kept having strange nightmares. The bad dreams seemed to last all night, but there is really only one that I can remember. In this particular dream I was fighting a wizard of some kind. We were in a dark room and with the dark grey stone walls, it seemed like we were in a dungeon. There was a small fire pit, but the flames were starting to die out, so the room kept getting darker and darker. It seems as if I was also a magic user or witch or something, or at least I thought I was. As often as I tried to extend my arms toward the other wizard and as much as I was hoping I could throw lightning bolts, nothing happened. Naturally the panic started to set in. The wizard didn't seem to have a problem casting his spells. He cast a spell which seemed like a laser. I couldn't cast spells, but I suppose I was able to block his laser spell with my hand. My hand wasn't destroyed but it hurt. It both burned and felt like someone was driving a drill through my hand. Then the mage charged me, and that is when things got scary. He was tall and slender, yet still muscular, although his hands and fingers were long and thin, almost skeletal. His skin was both ashen gray and yellow, and his eyes were black. When he charged me, it was quick and sudden, threatening and aggressive. Things went blank at that point, and I think I was starting to wake up. I suddenly became aware of and conscious of my breathing because it was so short and deep. Then I noticed that my shoulders were tensed up to my ears and my hands were locked in a fist. The pain I felt from blocking the laser with my hands was probably the pain I was feeling from my fingernails digging into my palms.

I have no idea what brought on this dream. I have recurring Civil War dreams that are scary and violent. Since those dreams happens so often, I think it is likely that I'm dreaming about a past life. But last night's dream was altogether new and different. I'm somewhat curious about what it all means. The only thing I do know is that I'm certainly feeling the physical effects of it today.

Grocery Shopping Guilt

Have you ever had those days when you just need to do some grocery shopping. You are armed with a list and you are on a mission. I was in this mood today, and today happened to be the day when there seemed to be a lot of activity at the grocery store. As I walked into the door the guilt immediately set in when I had to turn down a group of boy scouts who were selling popcorn. Sorry, kids, I already have popcorn at home. This also happened to be a day when they were giving out a lot of free samples. Normally, I love free samples, but today I was on a mission. I just wanted to get my stuff and go. I didn't want to be lured into the temptation of buying things I didn't have on my list. No, thank you, I don't want to try the low fat yogurt. No, thank you, I'm not interested in the cereal. No, thank you, I don't want a cookie. Okay, okay, I'll try a sample of the grilled steak. I want to be healthier and eat more salads. Bagged salads are easy and convenient, but the thought of getting e-coli or any other sickness made me think twice about it. I don't want to buy all of the "fresh" fixings for a salad, because I'm just one person and don't want to buy too much of something that might go bad before I eat half of it. So, feeling guilty, I gave up the idea of eating fresh salads. Although, I suppose I can say that I'm proud of myself for resisting the temptation to buy a box of Creamsicles or Drumsticks. I've been having unnatural cravings for ice cream these days. Although, I did buy a bag of Doritos. So much for healthy.

The grocery store was also unusually crowded today, too. Most of the people were walking around as if they were in a daze. One very unfriendly and not-so-happy lady happened to be everywhere I needed to go. When I politely said "excuse me" as I tried to squeeze by her and her cart which was conveniently parked in the middle of the aisle, she gave me a rude and dirty look. I was half-tempted to say, "you know, you look a little unhappy and uptight, in fact you look constipated, I'm sure if you go to the pharmacy, they can provide you with some much needed laxatives, have a nice day." However, with the exception of the constipated lady, the majority of the people in the store were quite nice and friendly. Oddly enough, I received a lot of very friendly smiles from several of the young college guys. That just makes a girl happy, even me. And the fact that I'm probably at least ten years older than most of these guys makes me smile even more.

I've been finishing up some of my household chores. My apartment still isn't as clean as I wanted it to be. Oh well. What I really want right now is a glass of wine. The only problem is that the only red wine I have right now is my "special occasion" wine, and it isn't one of my cheaper wines. I don't think I'm quite ready to open my $30 bottle of Merlot tonight. Maybe I'll save it for later this week when we have our first snowfall. Maybe I'll just make a B-52 later in the evening.

Current drink: Barq's Root Beer
Current music: More songs from my iTunes library. Currently "Alibi" by the David Gray

Domestic Duties

It has been another busy week at work. Whenever things get busy at work and when I come home tired and exhausted, I seem to let my apartment go. This weekend has been somewhat quiet in the sense that I'm not doing anything big or exciting. But, on the other hand, it has been busy in the sense that I'm trying to clean up my little place. I just put a load of laundry in the dryer, and thought I would blog before I move on to the next household chore. Is "blog" a verb?

Since I've been working so hard, I decided to give myself another reward. Yesterday I had a little salon visit to have my hair done. I got a cute cut and some color. My stylist is cool and loves to experiment on me with different colors. Today my hair is various shades of blonde, bronze, red, and black. I love it! To add to the excitement of getting my hair done, when I came home and opened my mailbox I found a package from Victoria's Secret. Although I was a little disappointed that this package was listed as "delivery 2 of 2." I don't remember getting package "1 of 2," so I have to wait patiently and if it doesn't come soon, I'll have to find out what happened to a missing bra and pair of panties.

The weather is starting to change with the change of seasons. Things have been beautiful and fairly warm this past week. Today it is much colder. I like it. I like the fresh and crisp air, and you can't help but feel all warm and cozy in a warm sweatshirt or a sweater. It certainly feels like winter is right around the corner. I'm not a huge fan of driving on snow and ice, but I love the winter for its beauty. There is nothing better than drinking a good glass of red wine while wrapped in a warm blanket and surrounded by dozens of candles. If only I had a fireplace in my apartment...

Current mood: relatively relaxed
Current drink: coffee
Current music: various songs from iTunes. Currently "Mountain Spring" by Barrage

What is Wrong With the World?

While taking a short break from work, I decided to check some of the latest headlines on the news. There has been another killing in a school. Why does this keep happening? What is possessing people to do things like this? We make so much of terrorists abroad, but we seem to have quite a few in our own country. For a few weeks you couldn't bring shampoo on the airplane, but somehow guns are getting into our schools. Why? Are we at such a sad and frightening time in our society where we need to put metal detectors and armed guards at the doors of our schools just to keep our kids safe?

Sometimes when I tell people that I studied Classics, a few people turn up their noses and complain that the ancient Greek and Roman societies were too violent and immoral. Take a look at our society! When you look at it, are we really all that different? We still have violence in our streets, and we are still fighting wars. One huge difference between now and then is that in ancient times, the political leaders who voted to go to war would actually go to war with the troops. The were not preaching while they sat in big leather chairs. Instead, many of them were fighting. But that is another story.

Either way, what is the world coming to?

The Evolution of Language

After looking at my last post, I'm struck by something entirely different. I am amused (and often annoyed) by the fact that there is a trend to use the letter "z" rather than an "s" to form the plural of words. This makes me think of language in general. Being a Classicist and having studied Latin and ancient Greek, languages that are over 2000 years old, I can't help but wonder what people are going to uncover about the English language 2000 years from now. Imagine some future archaeologist digging in the dirt of a collapsed U.S. empire. Imagine if he or she were to uncover some of the things we have around us right now--newspapers, magazines, e-mail, instant messages, and, yes, even blogs. What will they think of the evolution of the spelling of boys to boyz or cool to kewl? And what of the severely shortened forms of are to just r and you to just u? Will things like "lol," "lmao," and "imho" look like strange hieroglyphics to them? Will they think those strange Bratz dollz (with a "z") are some kind of strange fertility relic? Was this woman, Paris Hilton, who appears everywhere, this society's goddess? The surviving literature of the future might not be anything like Homer's Odyssey and uncovering strange toys and cell phones might not be like uncovering Agamemnon's Mask, and Paris Hilton is no Athena, but it will all be interesting and fascinating nonetheless. I can only imagine what future generations will think of the society we live in today. Will things get better in the future? Will things spiral downhill? One can only wonder...

Toys in the New Century

I'm not sure how the rest of you feel, but I'm just a little creeped out by those Bratz Baby dolls that I keep hearing about lately. Supposedly they are popular and kids love them, but the way these are designed, you have to wonder if there are a few sick adults out there who like them too. Where is Dateline NBC to catch the freaks who thought of these toys?? I think these are even worse. Fishnet stockings and CFMBs (Come F. Me Boots) add a nice touch! Thank God I played with footballs when I was young!

Rewards

I would be lying if I said that things were quiet at work. Things have been busy, very busy. Busy is a good thing, though, because it makes the day pass faster. For the past week I have been writing what we are going to call our Publications Procedures Manual. I've actually been working on it for the past month, but this is the week where we were planning on presenting an almost-final draft to one of the board of directors meetings. Essentially it is an instruction manual on how to publish a book from the initial writing stage to the stage when the book is finally in print. Such a manual has never existed before at this company, and I was "tasked" to create one. Being the control freak that I am, I really enjoyed this because I could then set things up in the ways I think are best. And, let's face it, we all know that my ideas are the best. Makes me think, if I ruled the world... Most of these procedures are already being followed as a matter of course, but it needed to be put down in writing. There is always that thought that if we were all hit by a bus and someone had to pick up the pieces (so to speak) this manual will tell them what they need to do.

So as a reward for all of my hard work, I naturally decided to give myself a little treat. A shopping spree at Victoria's Secret always does the trick. There was a sale, so why not take advantage. Since I shopped online, I'll have to wait for my present to myself, but it will be worth it.

Current mood: full from a yummy dinner, chicken cooked in a Dijon marinade.
Current music: random songs from my iTunes library, currently Loreena McKennitt's "Dante's Prayer"
Current drink: Catena 2004 Malbec

Landscape

Silently you lie beside me
Sleeping softly
Your bare back exposed
A landscape for my hands and fingertips
Lightly and gently I explore
Tracing every line and every curve
Each touch fuels the ache of hunger
Each caress ignites the pain of thirst
I hunger and I thirst and I long for a feast
My hungry lips and thirsty mouth dine on your skin
Slowly savoring...

...work in progress. More to come, or you can use your imagination and take it from here...

Seasons

Summer sleeps
Cold autumn winds stir golden leaves
Dark gray clouds coast slowly overhead
Rain falls slowly and steadily
In the distance, high mountain peaks stand dusted with snow
I find warmth inside
Hypnotized by the dance of flames on candles
Feeling a rhythmic rise and fall as I rest my head on your breast
Breathing in the scent of your skin, sweet and intoxicating,
I drift to sleep

Life Lessons

While making penne pasta with a wonderful vodka cream sauce (homemade!), I decided that some simple garlic bread would be a great side. My garlic bread is very simple. Garlic salt, dried parsley, and some Parmesan cheese on some buttered (real butter!) bread. Here is the life lesson. When you use Kraft Parmesan cheese that has been in the fridge, it tends to stick together. The simple solution is to shake the little jar. However, when doing so, be sure that the little lids and cap are tightly closed. After a few hard shakes, my hair was full of Parmesan cheese. Yes, I'm an idiot! I tend to be somewhat hyper and I guess I just shook the jar too vigorously. You would think that I was shaking a martini shaker. Speaking of...

On another note, the weather has been wonderful lately. It finally feels like fall, and things are starting to cool off at night. The rain is falling right now and everything smells wonderful.

Have I said "wonderful" enough in this blog?

Random Statements

I saw something like this in another blog, and I thought it was interesting. It is a list of random statements about one's feelings toward specific people. But the fun of it is that the people aren't named. The plot thickens! Maybe one of these statements is about you... MUUWWWAAAHAHAHA...

1. I loved you dearly but you found a way to make me absolutely hate and despise everything about myself. I'm happy to report that I am doing much better these days now that you're not around.

2. Just because I hug you, that doesn't mean that I want to sleep with you!

3. You opened my eyes and reminded me what true love feels like.

4. I love you like a sister. You've seen and known the best and the worst in me and still you find a way to love me unconditionally.

5. As miserable as we were where we are at, you are the only one who got me through it all.

6. For me, you will always be the sound voice of reason and the one who I can always count on for good and practical advice.

7. I love you with all my heart and all my soul. When I'm with you my love never feels dangerous. Maybe if this were another time and another place...

8. I miss you more than words can express. If only we had more time together!

Maybe more to come...

The Child In All of Us

Regardless of how old we all get, there is always that eternal child in all of us. Today, a coworker and I drove down to Castle Rock to meet with a freelance typesetter to discuss some of our books. We met at 10:00 a.m. at a Village Inn, talked business while we drank coffee, then at around 12:00 we all decided that it was time to eat. We all happened to have breakfast for lunch. There is a certain, simple joy in this. Who knows why we get so excited when we have breakfast for lunch or dinner or a snack late in the evening. And who knows why some of us become children all over again whenever we stay in a hotel. A few months ago when I went to Indiana for a business trip, the first thing I did when I got to my hotel room was look through the desk and dresser drawers for the little hotel pens and stationary. I did this when I was younger, and I still do it at age 31.

I like this. I like to maintain that childlike wonder and curiosity about things. With work, rent, bills, and daily chores, sometimes this adult life is so overrated that you just want to remember the simple things of your childhood that made you happy. This is why I still sleep with a teddy bear and stuffed doggie. I might wear the Victoria's Secret jammies, which makes me feel all adult, but Santa Bear and Snuffy make me feel like a kid every night.

Current mood: relaxed
Current music: Dead Can Dance. Within the Realm of a Dying Sun
Current drink: 7 Deadly Zins, Zinfandel
Current thought: Happy Birthday, Laura!

The Virtues of Circus Peanuts...

When you shop at Target you are bound to go home with some impulse buys. Today my impulse buy happened to be circus peanuts. I normally don't have a sweet tooth. I have more of a salty tooth, if there is such a thing. Maybe I'll call it a salty tongue, that's different enough...But that just sounds strange. In any event, I'm indulging in my circus peanuts. Sure, a circus peanut isn't something that you'll find in nature, and with the first two ingredients being sugar and corn syrup and the last ingredient being "yellow 6," you know it isn't the healthiest and most organic snack around. Let's face it, this is one step away from eating a sugar cube, but sometimes you just want something sweet.

In other news, I finally went to the liquor store to buy some wine. I didn't go crazy, I only bought three bottles. I'm waiting for the circus peanut taste to leave my mouth before I open a bottle. Any connoseur will tell you that merlot and circus peanuts isn't exactly like pairing the merlot with a sharp cheddar, havarti, or gouda.

Current mood: okay
Current music: Loreena McKennitt "Dark Night of the Soul" from The Mask and the Mirror

Famous Last Words...

	Quiz Galaxy Predicts that Tenth Muse's Last Words Will Be...
"And you, Brutus?"
'What will your last words be?' at QuizGalaxy.com

The Perfect Night Continues

The rain has been falling.
The candles smell like vanilla.
The wine tastes wonderful.
There is only one thing missing...

Current drink: Seven Deadly Zins, 2004 Zinfandel
Current music: more tunes from my iTunes library, currently Loreena McKennitt "Ce He Mise le Ulaingt (The Two Trees)" from The Mask and the Mirror

Boulder in the Fall

It has been some time since I've written about the weather. It has been warm these past few days. Not hot, just warm. When I left work this afternoon, I was surprised at how much the weather changed in this day alone. It was cloudy, the wind was cold, and the air was cold. My car thermometer said that it was about 60 degrees. It is in the 50s right now, and it is supposed to drop to the 40s overnight. I only wish it was raining or that we were having a thunderstorm right now. That would make the night perfect. Well, perfect after I put on some good music, light a few candles, and open a bottle of wine. It just feels like the perfect cozy, romantic evening.

Current music: various songs from my iTunes library. Currently Dave Matthews "Crash"

My Orange County Reality

A good friend and I have a guilty pleasure, and that guilty pleasure is known as Laguna Beach. Yes, the Laguna Beach reality TV show on MTV. We both watch it separately in our own homes, but we typically and frantically email each other about the show during the commercials. The funny part of this is that we are both in our 30s but we still go through that type of teenage excitement one can get when watching such a show. I love the show, but I'm often asking myself, "were things really like that when I was in high school and living in Orange County?" Of course, it has been a long time ago since I was in high school...

I grew up in Irvine, California, which isn't that far from Laguna Beach. People who know me often ask me if life in Orange County was like what you see on Laguna Beach and that "other" OC show. I guess that depends on whose life you are considering. The reality on Laguna Beach was different from my own reality. Those kids are extremely wealthy and unbelievably beautiful. When I was in high school my family was financially comfortable and I was of "humble" appearance. (I didn't become bearable to look at until my recent years.) I was never part of any clique. Actually, I hardly had any friends. Maybe it was because my supposed friends were actually one of those cliques and I wasn't beautiful or smart enough. I wasn't involved in any of the social drama, but instead I was one of those strange, pensive loners. This was simply my reality. The reality you see on Laguna Beach is real, it is just a different reality for a different group of people. My reality was more like Andrea Seigel's Like the Red Panda...minus the Catholic schoolgirl skirt!

One thing I can say about the city of Laguna Beach is that you don't see the true nature of it in the TV show. Yes, it is true, it is fairly wealthy. The property is expensive and beautiful. But there is much more to the city than the money. What you don't see is that it is a very liberal community in a county that tends to fall on the conservative side. It is also known as the "artsy" community of Orange County with the Festival of the Arts, Pageant of the Masters, and the Sawdust Art Festival. Laguna Beach is also a very large and thriving gay and lesbian community. You can say that it is the Gayborhood (Gay neighborhood) of Orange County. For those of you in the area, you must go to Woody's at the Beach. It tends to be a gay hangout where straight folks are always welcome, and it has the most amazing food you will ever eat!

I do love living in Boulder, Colorado, but I also miss Irvine. Sure it is getting crowded and it is expensive, but it is an absolutely beautiful place to live.

More on Irvine in another entry...

Current mood: nostalgic
Current music: an assortment of songs from my iTunes library; currently "Crucify" by Tori Amos
Current drink: Ventana's 2005 Monterey/Arroyo Seco Riesling

More Relaxed

I am feeling a better today. At least I feel more relaxed and less restless. I still feel a little restless, but I am not feeling as bad as I was yesterday. The older I get the more I realize how moody I really am. My moods tend to change from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. To make matters worse, my moods tend to be extreme and intense and dramatic. Maybe I can blame it on all of the Greek tragedy I read. Oi moi, as they always say.

The weather is making me feel better. It has cooled off a lot lately. Unfortunately, my apartment still feels a bit warm and stuffy. I wish there was a way to bring the air outside inside. Right now there is the slightest breeze and you can smell rain in the air. It smells wonderful. It is amazing how something as simple as the smell of rain can improve my mood. I suppose this is all it takes. The smell of rain, a nice glass of wine, some good music.

Current mood: relaxed
Current music: Anna Nalick. Wreck of the Day
Current drink: Kendall-Jackson Grand Reserve 2004 Chardonnay

Restless

In spite of my last blog and my aspirations to read more, here I sit in front of the computer again. But rather than play games, I decided to blog for whoever reads these things. I don't quite know why I feel so restless right now. I certainly can't complain about my job. As busy as I am and as crazy as things are in the office, I'm much happier than I was at my previous job. I am just restless. I don't know what it is I want. And I don't know what it is I need. But something inside me is telling me I want or need something. There are a few people in my life who I am truly missing right now. Maybe that is it. Maybe I am missing some kind of connection that I'm not finding at work right now. The people at work are wonderful and we have great working and casual relationships. But I haven't truly bonded with anyone yet. I'm just very different from many of the people there. The one good thing you could say about my former workplace is that the people who worked there seemed to form great bonds with one another. I suppose I'm missing that bond and that connection. Although we do see one another on occasion, I miss the daily connection. I look for this bond at my current workplace, but I can't seem to find it. But, the more I think about it, the more I realize that this is okay. I suppose this is what makes my other bonds and connections all the more special and more worthy to be cherished. It makes me love those people more...not that there would ever be anything to make me love them less. I suppose I just miss them.

Current mood: pensive
Current music: Dead Can Dance
Current drink: Kendall-Jackson Grand Reserve 2004 Chardonnay

The Need to Feel Stimulated

And when I say stimulated, I mean intellectually stimulated.
When I come home from work these days, I usually feel completely exhausted. I spend a lot of my time sitting in front of the TV or playing online games like this, this, or this. Although I can spend hours indulging in these games, I'm feeling the need for something more. So I'm going to try to force myself to read a little more. True, this can get difficult because my career requires me to read all day. But I need to do more to stir my mind. So I'll come up with a little reading list and we'll see how I do.

Current mood: restless
Current music: t.A.T.u. Dangerous and Moving

Bodies in Dumpsters

Here I was tonight, minding my own little business and about to throw out the trash. When I got to our little dumpster area near my building, I was somewhat shocked to see long blonde hair in the corner of the dumpster. Holy Shiitake! The first thought that went through my mind is the typical opening sequence of a Law & Order episode where people are doing just this thing--minding their business, throwing away the trash then they are shocked to find a body in the dumpster. Panic immediately set in as I walked forward to take a closer look. It turned out to be just a wig. But it was dark, I had the first few sips from a glass of cognac, I really need new glasses, and I just expected the worst. Needless to say, I was happy that the blonde hair wasn't attached to a head. The whole scary experience probably shaved about three years off my life, but at least I had my own Law & Order moment. *ching, ching*

Current drink: Remy Martin VSOP Cognac
Current music: Holly Brook. Like Blood Like Honey

Pet Peeve: Skinny Women Who Think They're Fat

For years people have made jokes of the dreaded question no one wants to hear from a woman: "do I look fat in this?" I have a few friends (most of whom I don't see that often these days since I'm out of the school scene) who are obsessed with their weight. Their weight can fall around 110, 115, 120, or 125, and they always say the same thing, "I'm so fat." Usually they say it in a squeaky, whiny, babyish kind of voice. Are they fat? Certainly not. Do they actually think they are fat? Maybe in their minds they think they are. I think there might be something more to it. The squeaky, whiny, baby voice tells me that they are just looking for attention. They want someone to flatter them. They want someone to say, "oh, no, you are not fat at all, you're absolutely beautiful." Every woman loves to hear someone say that she is beautiful, but, in my opinion, the phrase "you're beautiful" loses its meaning when someone tries to force it out of you. It should just happen. It should be spontaneous and it should be meaningful. The irony is that these women who think they are fat are also the ones who try to project an image of independence, self-confidence, and self-esteem. In my opinion, they fall short of all of those three things. As far as I know, a truly confident woman doesn't need to ask these questions. In my opinion, this is the most beautiful woman--one who loves herself, who is proud of herself, and who is comfortable with the way she looks. I'm far more attracted to this kind of woman rather than the one who is trying to be cute with the squeaky baby voice. It might be mean, but the next time one of these friends says that she is fat, I really want to just say, "you know, you do look much fatter than the last time I saw you..."

Current music: Tori Amos

Pet Peeve: Grammar Issues

While watching some TV before work I surfed to a channel where a woman was speaking. "The best thing about John and I's relationship is our ability to communicate." I guess grammar isn't part of the communication. I'll admit, I have my own little idiosyncrasies when I speak or write. Everyone does. But there are just a few things that really get under my skin. The word "I's" uttered by the woman is one of those things that drives me crazy. "I's" with an apostrophe+s is not the right way to form the possessive of I. We have happy little things called possessive pronouns that can do the job just fine. Let's review the possessive pronouns: my, your, his, her, our, their. Good! Notice I wrote their not they're! Would you dare say, "the best thing about we's relationship"? I doubt it. Nope, you would say, "the best thing about our relationship." Want another grammar pet peeve? How about, "there was a great discussion between Jack and I." Sorry, kids, it might sound fancy and "educated," but, really, it isn't. It's wrong. The preposition "between" requires an objective case not a nominative case. Would you say, "just between we" or "just between us"? I think you would say "between us" because "between we" just sounds lame. Do people even know what a case is these days?

Sigh. It's sad. What is even more frustrating is when you hear the educated, the powerful, and the famous saying these things. Because these people speak this way, the rest of the world assumes that it's right. But in this high-tech world of television, computers, instant messages, and, yes, even blogs, little phrases like these spread like wildfire. What can we do? Who knows? Maybe we should actually try to teach grammar in schools. Personally, I think that we should bring back mandatory Latin (or ancient Greek) classes in our elementary, middle, and high schools. When you are forced to look at a highly intricate and structured grammar, you will really begin to learn and understand grammar.

Current mood: aggravated and amused

The Virtues of Grey Goose Vodka

I'll admit that I buy several different brands of the same type of liquor. Let's call them grades. I might buy three different kinds of Merlot, and each has a different price and a different quality. The same rule applies with all of the alcohol I buy. I might have my "regular" vodka, but I also have a quality vodka. I've had an unopened bottle of Grey Goose sitting in my little liquor cabinet for months now, and, because I ran out of my "regular" vodka, I decided to open the Grey Goose. I've made Peach Martinis for myself many times, but tonight's Peach Martini tasted especially good. Maybe it was because I chilled the glass for an hour before making the drink. Maybe it was because I put the right amount of ice in the shaker. Maybe it was because I poured the right measurements. Maybe it was because I shook (not stirred) it just the right amount of time. Maybe all of these things come into play, but I think the Grey Goose had something to do with it.

So why do I even bother buying several versions of the same things? Well, it's all a matter of situation and money. If I'm at home alone and I want a glass of wine or two, I don't really need to open the $20-$30 bottle of wine. A $10 bottle will just do fine. And when you are drinking cocktails, the ingredients can get quite expensive so you have to make you sacrifices and err on the side of price over quality. So, why do I buy the expensive things? Well, in general I tend to save the high quality and more expensive stuff for my "special guests" who are visiting me. The special ladies get the special drinks. Some people might say that that makes me shallow, but say what you will. Put simply the depth of my love determines the extent of my sacrifice. With me there is a difference between having a friend and being in love. But that is another blog...

Current drink: Peach Martini
Current mood: relaxed
Current music: Beth Waters "Blue and White"

Pet Peeve

I'll admit it. I love fonts. I love a variety of fonts. I play with them in Word documents when I'm writing something that is not related to work. And, since I've been expanding my "typesetting" skills by dabbling with InDesign, I've really been playing with fonts. I do have one major pet peeve, though. I really don't like it when people try to use the Greek sigma for the letter E. I know that the uppercase sigma looks really cool and ancient and classical and all that, but it's just plain wrong. Take the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" for example. Cute movie, but it annoyed me because I kept reading "My Big Fat Grssk Wedding." Maybe I'm extra sensitive after reading ancient Greek for nearly ten years. The moral of the story, people, is please don't do this. It's lame and it's annoying. And it frustrates the small portion of the population who read ancient Greek.

Current music: Tori Amos "A Sorta Fairytale"
Current drink: just water. It's too hot for alcohol right now. I'll have to wait until it cools off later tonight.

I Hate the Human Race

The only thing I hate more than bad drivers on the roads are bad shopping cart drivers in the grocery store. Honestly, people, is it that difficult to be considerate. Do you have to leave your shopping cart in the middle of the aisle while you walk up and down the aisle browsing at the food? The shopping carts I really hate are the SUV shopping carts for parents and their five kids. Those carts are just plain dangerous! And, do you have to leave your cart at the checkout stand while you run throughout the store to get some last minute dozen items? Not to mention the fact that those extra items push you over the limit in the "express" lane. What I hate most is when people are on their cell phones while trying to drive their carts through the store. No, that's okay, really, you were on your cell, I'm sure you didn't see me standing here and accidentally and unfortunately crash your cart into my leg, don't worry, it is only bleeding a little, I'm sure my insurance will pay for a severed Achilles tendon, I won't keep you from your conversation, I'm sure it's costing you minutes. IDIOTS!

Why Can't People Drive These Days?

The other day a friend and I were talking about how bad people seem to be driving these days. We wonder what the problem is. Maybe the heat and hot sun are melting the normal brain functions. A few days ago when I was leaving my apartment to go to work, I was pulling out of my street and getting ready to turn on another street when a woman came zipping around the corner to pull into my street. Had I been a foot to the left or pulled out a foot more, she would have hit me head on. That's how tight she cut the corner. But here is the picture. Between her left shoulder and her left ear she was attempting to hold up a cell phone. All at the same time she was holding a coffee mug in her left hand. I suppose she was steering with her knee and trying to shift with her right hand. Bitch! Today, when I was going out everyone seemed to be driving extremely slow. And when I say slow, I mean driving 50 in the left lane of a freeway without a clue of knowing that people slamming on their breaks behind. And when a horse trailer with four horses is passing your Subaru Outback (the standard car that everyone in Colorado drives), you are driving too slow. Stay home people! And stay off the roads if you can't drive!

Current drink: Jamba Juice's Strawberry Nirvana

A New Phase

While spending the evening tonight with Laura E. having dinner and drinks I ran into a few of the Classics grad students. As my luck would have it, I ran into to the last two people I would care to see. Both are drunks, and one needs to just grow up and one needs to cut the cord on CU. "Ego" is a Greek word that means "I" and that is all that these guys care about. They asked me how I was doing, but before I could explain much it was back to them. It quickly turned into "this is what I am doing" and "what have you heard about me." Quite frankly, I haven't heard much because I have been out of the loop with the Classics class. I graduated two years ago and I have moved on since then. I have distanced myself because it just isn't my scene anymore. I'd much rather have a nice dinner and drinks with a good friend as opposed to watching a bunch of acquaintances get drunk and stoned out of their minds. I don't want to deal with the gossip. I don't want to deal with the drama. I'm over that. That chapter of my life is over and closed. I have new friends, a new life, and new love. Grad school was fun while it lasted, but it is over. I'm a different person and I have a different life.

Watch Out Martha Stewart

I will be the first to admit, I am not a domestic goddess. Hell, I'm hardly a domestic pleb. There are some things I just have problems with, one of these things is trying to fold a G-damn fitted sheet. I've read books, I've looked on the web, I have seen all of the instructions, but 99 percent of the time my folded fitted sheets look like an oblong mass of wrinkles and irregular folds. What the hell? This must be the season of miracles, because I just folded a fitted sheet and it looked absolutely perfect!! Hallelujah! I kind of wonder if it had to do with the quality of the sheets. Today I was folding my $40 Bed, Bath, and Beyond sheets v. my other $19.99 Target sheets. Not that there is anything bad about the Target sheets. I'm probably just incompetent and inept. But, today I had the perfect fold! Wahoo!

This is all very lame, but I have to rejoice in my small victories. If only I had a bottle of chilled Champagne I could bathe in...

Roasting

I think it was about a week or two ago when I kept writing about the weather. It was raining all weekend and the temperature was in the 50s and 60s. In true Colorado fashion the weather has changed dramatically. It is about 102 degrees right now. And, no, my little Passion Cabin apartment does not have air conditioning. My apartment faces north and south, so I suppose it is cooler because of that. At least I don't have the sun beating through the window.

I just went to the laundry room a few minutes ago, and I am jealous of the guys in my apartment complex. At least they can walk around with their shirts off for some comfort, I can't exactly do that without attracting unwanted attention. And how would they feel if they had to wear a sweaty bra?? Ugh!

Current mood: wanting to strip naked and bathe in a pool of ice water
Current drink: Twisted Pine Honey Brown Ale
Currently reading: Donald Mastronarde's Introduction to Attic Greek (just brushing up)