My Orange County Reality

A good friend and I have a guilty pleasure, and that guilty pleasure is known as Laguna Beach. Yes, the Laguna Beach reality TV show on MTV. We both watch it separately in our own homes, but we typically and frantically email each other about the show during the commercials. The funny part of this is that we are both in our 30s but we still go through that type of teenage excitement one can get when watching such a show. I love the show, but I'm often asking myself, "were things really like that when I was in high school and living in Orange County?" Of course, it has been a long time ago since I was in high school...

I grew up in Irvine, California, which isn't that far from Laguna Beach. People who know me often ask me if life in Orange County was like what you see on Laguna Beach and that "other" OC show. I guess that depends on whose life you are considering. The reality on Laguna Beach was different from my own reality. Those kids are extremely wealthy and unbelievably beautiful. When I was in high school my family was financially comfortable and I was of "humble" appearance. (I didn't become bearable to look at until my recent years.) I was never part of any clique. Actually, I hardly had any friends. Maybe it was because my supposed friends were actually one of those cliques and I wasn't beautiful or smart enough. I wasn't involved in any of the social drama, but instead I was one of those strange, pensive loners. This was simply my reality. The reality you see on Laguna Beach is real, it is just a different reality for a different group of people. My reality was more like Andrea Seigel's Like the Red Panda...minus the Catholic schoolgirl skirt!

One thing I can say about the city of Laguna Beach is that you don't see the true nature of it in the TV show. Yes, it is true, it is fairly wealthy. The property is expensive and beautiful. But there is much more to the city than the money. What you don't see is that it is a very liberal community in a county that tends to fall on the conservative side. It is also known as the "artsy" community of Orange County with the Festival of the Arts, Pageant of the Masters, and the Sawdust Art Festival. Laguna Beach is also a very large and thriving gay and lesbian community. You can say that it is the Gayborhood (Gay neighborhood) of Orange County. For those of you in the area, you must go to Woody's at the Beach. It tends to be a gay hangout where straight folks are always welcome, and it has the most amazing food you will ever eat!

I do love living in Boulder, Colorado, but I also miss Irvine. Sure it is getting crowded and it is expensive, but it is an absolutely beautiful place to live.

More on Irvine in another entry...

Current mood: nostalgic
Current music: an assortment of songs from my iTunes library; currently "Crucify" by Tori Amos
Current drink: Ventana's 2005 Monterey/Arroyo Seco Riesling

More Relaxed

I am feeling a better today. At least I feel more relaxed and less restless. I still feel a little restless, but I am not feeling as bad as I was yesterday. The older I get the more I realize how moody I really am. My moods tend to change from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. To make matters worse, my moods tend to be extreme and intense and dramatic. Maybe I can blame it on all of the Greek tragedy I read. Oi moi, as they always say.

The weather is making me feel better. It has cooled off a lot lately. Unfortunately, my apartment still feels a bit warm and stuffy. I wish there was a way to bring the air outside inside. Right now there is the slightest breeze and you can smell rain in the air. It smells wonderful. It is amazing how something as simple as the smell of rain can improve my mood. I suppose this is all it takes. The smell of rain, a nice glass of wine, some good music.

Current mood: relaxed
Current music: Anna Nalick. Wreck of the Day
Current drink: Kendall-Jackson Grand Reserve 2004 Chardonnay

Restless

In spite of my last blog and my aspirations to read more, here I sit in front of the computer again. But rather than play games, I decided to blog for whoever reads these things. I don't quite know why I feel so restless right now. I certainly can't complain about my job. As busy as I am and as crazy as things are in the office, I'm much happier than I was at my previous job. I am just restless. I don't know what it is I want. And I don't know what it is I need. But something inside me is telling me I want or need something. There are a few people in my life who I am truly missing right now. Maybe that is it. Maybe I am missing some kind of connection that I'm not finding at work right now. The people at work are wonderful and we have great working and casual relationships. But I haven't truly bonded with anyone yet. I'm just very different from many of the people there. The one good thing you could say about my former workplace is that the people who worked there seemed to form great bonds with one another. I suppose I'm missing that bond and that connection. Although we do see one another on occasion, I miss the daily connection. I look for this bond at my current workplace, but I can't seem to find it. But, the more I think about it, the more I realize that this is okay. I suppose this is what makes my other bonds and connections all the more special and more worthy to be cherished. It makes me love those people more...not that there would ever be anything to make me love them less. I suppose I just miss them.

Current mood: pensive
Current music: Dead Can Dance
Current drink: Kendall-Jackson Grand Reserve 2004 Chardonnay

The Need to Feel Stimulated

And when I say stimulated, I mean intellectually stimulated.
When I come home from work these days, I usually feel completely exhausted. I spend a lot of my time sitting in front of the TV or playing online games like this, this, or this. Although I can spend hours indulging in these games, I'm feeling the need for something more. So I'm going to try to force myself to read a little more. True, this can get difficult because my career requires me to read all day. But I need to do more to stir my mind. So I'll come up with a little reading list and we'll see how I do.

Current mood: restless
Current music: t.A.T.u. Dangerous and Moving

Bodies in Dumpsters

Here I was tonight, minding my own little business and about to throw out the trash. When I got to our little dumpster area near my building, I was somewhat shocked to see long blonde hair in the corner of the dumpster. Holy Shiitake! The first thought that went through my mind is the typical opening sequence of a Law & Order episode where people are doing just this thing--minding their business, throwing away the trash then they are shocked to find a body in the dumpster. Panic immediately set in as I walked forward to take a closer look. It turned out to be just a wig. But it was dark, I had the first few sips from a glass of cognac, I really need new glasses, and I just expected the worst. Needless to say, I was happy that the blonde hair wasn't attached to a head. The whole scary experience probably shaved about three years off my life, but at least I had my own Law & Order moment. *ching, ching*

Current drink: Remy Martin VSOP Cognac
Current music: Holly Brook. Like Blood Like Honey