Mountains and Change

Mountains: Late in the afternoon I went out to run a bunch of errands. While I was driving home, I looked toward the mountains and they seemed especially large today for some reason. Living in Boulder you are practically at the foot of the mountains, so they always seem large, but today they seemed more towering. Maybe it was the light. The sun was just starting to set behind the mountains, so the sun was blinding me. With the sun falling as it was, you could barely make out the features of the mountains, but instead you could only really see their silhouette. Maybe this is what made them seem so large. Maybe I was just looking at it differently. Maybe I was just feeling smaller. And when I say smaller I am not saying smaller in the sense that I feel insignificant, or lonely, or overwhelmed, or lost in any way. I mean smaller in the sense that you suddenly remember how big the world is around you. It is something I tend to notice every day, but today the feeling felt especially strong. There was just something breathtaking and majestic about it. Too bad I didn't have my camera!

Change: Seeing the mountains around me always reminds that I live in Colorado and that reminds me of change. When I look back on the past ten or fifteen years, it amazes me that I am here in this place. Even more amazing is how much I have changed over those years. When I graduated high school, I was majoring in business, economics, and accounting. I thought I would stay in California. After a few years at a junior college where I met some wonderful professors, I realized that I really enjoyed English and literature. After eventually getting a degree in English from Cal State Fullerton, I realized that I wanted to specialize in Classics, and the only way to do that was to go to a new school to get another degree. When the time came to pick a grad school, my top choices were UC Santa Barbara and Colorado. I came to Colorado. While in grad school I thought that I would go on to another school to get a Ph.D. and after that I would teach somewhere as a professor. At the end of grad school, I wanted a break from school, and that brought me to the publishing industry. And here I am. Four schools, four degrees, one career later...

I've certainly seen growth in terms of my education and career. But I think that I have just grown and changed in general over the years. I don't think that I could ever go back to high school or ever attend a reunion. In spite of everything that has happened in my life and as much as I've grown, I really don't think I would have anything to say. I don't think anyone would recognize me. I am so different from the person I was back then. Maybe physically I would seem familiar, but I am a completely different person in terms of my thoughts, emotions, and attitudes. Each year has brought me more adventures and more growth, and I like to think that I've been getting better with each year, but that also depends on who you ask. But I've never been happier or more content with what I have in my life right now. I love the career path I've chosen. I have wonderful and beautiful friends. Love is always at the center of my life. What more could you ask for?