A lot of friends and a few people in my office have or are about to turn 30. Thirty seems to be a scary number to a lot of these people—mostly women—and some are taking it pretty hard. A few of them have asked me how my thirties have been, and I said, honestly, that it has been great and wonderful. I know that it is a cliche to say, but I like to think that I have matured and grown a lot over the years. The mid- to late-twenties was a definitely a growing process—not physically, unfortunately—and the thirties have been a maturing process.
Over the past few years I have become very comfortable with where I'm at in my life. I'm not necessarily talking physically, though Boulder is a wonderful place to be. But I've become comfortable with where I'm at psychologically and emotionally. My confidence has grown. I've learned that I'm here living my life for myself and according to my standards and not the standards of society or anyone else. And, to be honest with you, my standards are much higher than society's or anyone else's thanks to a good upbringing! I try to live my life gracefully and respectfully and with some sense of dignity. Most of the time, I succeed (I believe). Occasionally, I might falter, but I am human and at least recognize and learn from the falls.
As I've gotten older, I've become more appreciative of my independence and ability to think independently and freely. I no longer feel the need to do what everyone else is doing. I don't need to follow the leads of my friends like a herd animal. I don't need to like the music they like, watch the movies they watch, wear the clothes they wear, or get the haircut they have. Ok, I've never really done those things, but there are women out there who are in their thirties and still following the leads of their clique. I like that I'm independent and free thinking. I might be a black sheep, I might stick out like a sore thumb, but I'm me. The people who like that about me stick around; the rest are free and welcome to leave.
As I've gotten older, I'm also a much better judge of intentions and character. Mostly I've learned to not want anything from anyone, and I've especially learned not to expect anything from anyone. Some might call this lack of faith. I call it reality. I recognize acquaintances and friendships for what they are, whether they are casual, superficial, or true and genuine. And the older I get the more I realize that I don't need a lot of friends in my life. I appreciate and value the few precious friendships that are true and genuine and that are based on sincere respect and love. Who needs a cliquish mob when you can always trust and count on a few loyal friends?
Anyway, so that brings me to the end of my philosophical oration. Have my thirties been horrible? Not at all. Have they been absolutely perfect? Not in the least. But it's been great and fun. Besides, I'm smarter, hotter, and awesomer than I have ever been!
(I made up awesomer...)
Current mood: content
Current music: The Organ "Brother" from Grab that Gun (a birthday gift from a coworker)
Current drink: orange juice (extra vitamin c to ward off the plague in the office)
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