Storms and Sacrifices

I apologize to my loyal readers for my scant posting over the past few weeks. Things have been extremely busy lately. Work has been busy, as usual, but I will be taking a vacation that begins today and ends next Tuesday. Although this is a much-needed vacation, I had a lot to do to get my projects in good order before I left. So that has been keeping me busy.

This week's vacation also involves my family coming out to Colorado for my nephew's wedding. So I've been busy getting my home ready for everyone's arrival. Most of my cleaning is done and most of my laundry is washed. Tonight I was planning on making a big shopping trip to make sure I have enough food and drinks to last through the week. It is pretty much the last big thing I needed to do.

The weather has been bad for most of the day with lots of rain and lightning and thunder. By the time I got home and had my dinner, it looked like the weather had cleared up. But when I left my apartment there was a light drizzle. I didn't think it would get any worse, so I went on my merry way to Liquor Mart to pick up some beer, wine, and other adult beverages. When I got out of Liquor Mart the clouds were looking darker and I could see some lightning and hear some thunder in the distance. I wanted to go to the grocery store to get the food, but the closer I got to the store, the more it started to rain. As I was driving I also saw huge bolts of lightning shooting across the sky and the thunder was ripping through the air. Then the rain really started. Things were looking pretty bad so I just gave up on my grocery shopping trip and decided to go home. By the time I pulled into my parking lot, it was pretty much a hurricane and there was a torrential downpour. I grabbed a case of beer and ran frantically to my building hoping that I would make it inside before I got struck by lightning. By the time I got to my door I was soaked. I looked out the window and the lightning was intense. It was so bad that I left a case of wine in my trunk, because I was too afraid to go out there!

Fortunately things have calmed down a bit and I've been able to retrieve my wine. But, man, that was a crazy storm! Maybe God is trying to tell me that I drink too much...

Busy, Busy, Busy

I apologize to my loyal readers for going an entire week without an update. I've been busy and haven't had much time to write. The week at work was another busy one, but fortunately it was a very productive one. There was something about our department lunch fiasco and what I, in turn, wrote about it in my last post that recharged me. Writing about it was freeing and it somehow helped me to purge a lot of the toxic emotions. Surprisingly, I was able to come into work on Monday with a new focus and energy, and because of this I felt very driven and was able to get a lot accomplished. It's as if my world got a much-needed shift and turn and now I'm back on the right axis. I'm focusing on the things that matter, the people that matter, and I'm learning to let go of the things that don't matter as much. It is quite liberating!

Things have also been busy because next week, I will be taking a vacation/furlough while my family comes out to Colorado for a visit. So I've been busy getting my place in order before their arrival. In spite of living in my new apartment for about one year, there are still a lot of things I haven't done and things I haven't finished. Now that this place is bigger, I have a lot more walls and bigger walls and some of these walls are still in need of decoration. The bookcases that I've been meaning to buy for months and months still need to be bought. On the other hand, there is something almost charming about having some books just stacked against the wall or piled into a box or crate. But I suppose none of this will matter to my family considering all that we care about is being together. All I need to do is make sure everything is clean, and I'll be happy.

Appreciation and Happiness

The financial pain of the struggling economy and company belt-tightening are really starting to take a toll on some of the employees at work. No one likes the mandatory furlough days. OK, so people might like the time off, but no one likes the reduced paychecks. When each person is struggling to pay his or her own bills or to take care of his or her own family, it is natural to get frustrated when money is so tight. It is natural to be angry. But, in my opinion, it is only natural up to a point. Some people are really angry and really miserable. Though these are natural emotions given the times, it becomes exhausting when people are angry and miserable ALL THE TIME. The atmosphere becomes toxic when a person comes into the office every morning with a loud crash after throwing their bags, keys, water bottles, coffee mugs, or whatever on their desk. You can just sense the resentment they are feeling with just being in the office. It becomes toxic to see people stomping around the office all day with scowls on their faces. Being a Pisces I tend to feed off of the emotions of those around me. When people around me are in good moods, then my mood is happy. When people around me are angry or frustrated or in a foul mood, then that brings my mood down. I'm sure my blood pressure has been through the roof over the past week or two.

Whenever I find myself in this situation, I try to collect myself and try to calm myself down. Usually all it takes is for me to think of the people in my life who are happy and who have a more positive outlook on life. Although I have many friends who have positive attitudes, the one friend I think about often is one who unfortunately passed away several years ago. We used to work together and she had stage-four cancer. If anyone had a right to be angry or bitter or miserable or selfish, it was her. She, however, was NONE of those things. She knew her fate, but she dealt with it with quiet acceptance. She never looked for or asked for pity or sympathy.

The company we worked for at the time was in awful shape. Our CEO was incompetent, and our manager was incompetent, dumb, and ignorant. The place was run into the ground and we were all angry and upset about what was going on. My friend was upset, too, but she didn't let it overwhelm and consume her life. She knew that there are things about life that you can change and things that you can't change. There was nothing we could have changed about the company, so you sometimes just have to deal with it. She wasn't giving up and she wasn't settling, but she was being practical and keeping things in perspective. There are some things worth getting upset over, but there are many more things that aren't worth it. She knew what was important in her life and she focused on those things intently and passionately. She knew that her time left was limited, so she appreciated and cherished the things that were most important to her. In spite of whatever pain she was feeling, the love in her soul brought her a happiness that far outshines the "happiness" that I see in most of the people I know. All of this hinged on her appreciation for what she had and her willingness to let go of the petty, insignificant, and unimportant things.

My friend's attitude and approach to life does many things for me. One, it makes me disgusted to see people obsess over petty, unimportant things. But the most important thing it does for me is that it reminds me to cherish and appreciate all of the wonderful things and people I have in my life. I might not have a huge salary, I might not have a huge house, I might not have a fancy car, and I might not be able to spend money on frivolous things, but I have everything I need to survive. I'm able to pay my rent and my bills, I have a nice apartment, and I have a dependable car that will last forever. I have a wonderful and beautiful family and group of friends, and that is what I cherish most.

Recently some of my co-workers were expressing outrage over having to pay for their own meals at a department lunch to welcome a new employee. There was quite the uproar as they stomped about angrily expressing how unfair and outrageous it was for us to pay for our own lunch. Overhearing this initially made me extremely angry, and I pretty much flew off the handle and told them that they were being selfish and unwelcoming. Now it just fills me with pity. This, paying for a meal at lunch, is what causes anger and outrage? This is what can put a person into such an ugly and foul mood and ruin the rest of a person's week? Try spending three or four years of your life battling cancer. $10 or $12 for one lunch on one day doesn't sound so bad, does it?

The Rewrite

When I graduated from high school, I didn't go straight into a four-year university. Instead, I went to a community college. I had friends that went to places like USC, UCLA, or Boston College, and I was somewhat of the laughingstock of my circle of friends because I didn't immediately go to a big name university. I didn't really care what they thought. When I was enrolled, I was paying only about $12 per unit, while they were probably paying $1,200. And I was lucky to have professors who actually cared more about teaching than publishing articles or books. Even though I was at a community college and getting a "cheap" education, I nevertheless got a great education.

One of the best classes I took was a college writing course. I had an amazing professor and one of the things that she stressed was rewriting. She thought that one of the best ways to improve your writing skills and to strengthen your arguments was to constantly rewrite. Some rewording and some restructuring can make a world of difference in your writing. So, having been trained in that way, I'm still constantly reworking everything I write. And that includes this blog. I am not a journalist, and this blog isn't known around the world. This blog is personal and casual and informal, but I usually try my best to sound literate and coherent. I often write in haste, surely leaving behind a trail of errors here and there. But I think I also leave a trail of errors by overwriting. Restructuring sentences and rewording can leave their own trail of embarrassing errors.

Where am I going? What is the point of this post? Oh, I suppose this is in response to my own personal horror that I felt after rereading some of my recent posts and noticing a few errors. Apparently I don't always make use of my career as an editor before posting what I write! Anyway, all of this is a disclaimer to say that eventually I will fix all those errors that you might read in this blog.

There really isn't much of a point in this post...

Furlough

I'm at home today and we're coming to the end of a four-day weekend. Friday was considered a holiday because it came before the Fourth of July. We are off today because this is the week when we start our summer furlough period. Everyone at work is excited to have an extra long weekend right now. I'm somewhat excited to have the time off because I work myself to near death on most days. I like having the extra day to sleep in, to be lazy, and to get some chores done or errands run. However, this isn't exactly a vacation and it isn't a holiday. It's a mandatory day off and we're not getting paid for it. I suppose this day off is a double-edged sword, or it is bittersweet, or it is whatever cliche you might want to use right now. I am grateful for the day off and for a chance to rest, but I would really like the money more. However, I suppose that I need to look on the brighter side. I need to endure the negatives and appreciate the positives. My salary might be reduced for the next three months, but I'm fortunate to still have a job. There are a lot of people out there in the world who are in worse shape than me right now. And, I'm not only fortunate just to have a job, but I'm fortunate to have a cool job. I help to make books, books that are sold in bookstores and books that people actually read. How cool is that? I might not be making $50,000 or $60,000 a year (or more), but I genuinely enjoy what I'm doing. Money can make things easier and it can buy a lot of things, but, as the old saying goes, it can't buy happiness. And, in spite of somewhat rough times right now, I still have a wonderfully supportive family and a few thoughtful friends. In the end, that is all that matters to me.

Current mood: resting and rejuvenating
Current music: Heather Small "Proud" (QAF mix)
Current drink: coffee

Saturation

I'll be the first to admit that I am a Michael Jackson fan. I grew up in the 80s and I used to live in Michigan in a city not too far from Detroit (i.e. Motown). You would hear his songs on the radio and my brothers had all of his albums. I had a VHS tape of "Thriller" that I would watch all the time, and I even had a little red, faux leather jacket that looked like the jacket he wore in the video. I even had a Michael Jackson action figure/doll. So when I heard that he died, I was shocked and sad and thought that it was a shame. I thought it was a shame because he never had the chance to live a normal life. Immediately after his death there was wall-to-wall coverage about him and what might have happened. A small—very small—portion of the coverage was positive. Stations like MTV and VH1 were showing his videos. Considering MTV and VH1 have turned into Reality TV and seem to have not shown videos in about 15 years, this is huge for them and it is almost sad that it takes the death of a singer for them to go back to their roots. But here you saw the creativity and genius in his videos and you could appreciate his talent as a singer and dancer.

But most of the coverage of Michael Jackson's death has been in the style of a tabloid magazine. Once the news broke of his death, CNN had non-stop coverage and discussion about his death. On one side of the screen, some "expert" or "friend" would be talking about something, but on the other side of the screen was a parade of images. You saw him dangling his baby over the balcony, arriving to court in pajamas, going to Disneyland with a group of children, all suggesting strange or salacious behavior. Then they showed a series of images of how his appearance has changed over the years. CNN is not alone; other TV stations have been doing the same thing. There have been shows that are supposed to be "tributes" or "remembrances," but what they showed was every questionable or "freakish" thing that has gone on in his life. Then at the end of the show, in the final five or ten minutes, they would say "when we come back, we look at what really mattered, the music and the talent." Well, if that is what really mattered, why did you spend 50 minutes showing the scandalous aspects of his life?

Although his death is sad, I'm really getting sick of hearing about it on the news. You can't get away from it. Just when you think that some other important event occurs in the news—like a war, a governor getting caught with a mistress, another governor resigning before finishing out one term, or what is supposed to be an important holiday—some other Michael Jackson news story takes over. Who is going to get custody of the kids? What prescription drugs did he have? How much is he in debt? How much will he be worth now that he is dead? Why didn't he like his appearance? What is Bubbles the Chimp doing now? It is sad and pathetic that even in death every detail of his life is being picked apart. I wish they would focus on him more as an entertainer and less as a freak show. But because of the kind of coverage his death has been getting, I really am sick of hearing about it and I want to know what else is going on in the world. It is all a little too much. You can't turn on the TV without hearing about it.

Where is a good Law & Order episode when you need it?

Huh?

I've been sitting here for nearly 20 minutes watching Sarah Palin's resignation speech, and I have no idea what the hell she is saying. For a brief moment I thought that maybe it was Tina Fey mocking Sarah Palin, but sadly it was the real Sarah Palin. It had to be the most rambling, babbling speech I've ever seen and heard. I've seen grade school kids give better book reports than that.

So why is she resigning? Who knows. Maybe she plans on running for senate in 2010 or president in 2012. If she is going to run for senate or president, she will need to start reading a few newspapers and that could take a year or two (or three) to do that. So maybe she just wanted to clear her schedule and free up some time.

Donations

Once I graduated from high school, I suddenly got smart and studious and spent a lot of time in college. I first went to a junior college and got an associates degree. Then I went to a state college and got a bachelor's degree. Then I went to a different university and got another bachelor's degree. Then I went to yet another university and got a master's degree. So I have an associates degree, two bachelor's degrees, and one master's degree. The only problem is that my degrees are an AA in English and General Studies, a BA in English, a BA in Classics, and an MA in Classics. They aren't degrees in engineering, computer science, medicine, or law. In other words, in spite of my four degrees and in spite of my stunning brilliance and intelligence and my intellectual superiority, I'm not exactly rolling in the dough and banking a six figure salary. However, I'm a very humble person—obviously—and pretty romantic in the sense that I put my passions and interests above money. I'm very content with that decision, in spite of the fact that it might sometimes be nice to have a six figure salary.

But the point of all this is that there is a downside of going to so many colleges and universities. Almost every month I get letters from university foundations and alumni foundations asking me, yes me, for money. I think that these foundations need to start looking at their former student's major before asking for money. If they want money, they need to start hitting up the engineers and lawyers for money. I got nothing.

A Drug for Everything

Just when you thought there were enough drugs on the market, you learn about a brand new drug. While watching TV this evening, I saw a commercial for a new prescription for your eyelashes. Yes, your eyelashes. You rub the ointment on your eyelids, and it is supposed to make your eyelashes longer, thicker, and darker. I can see how something like this would be important for someone with health problems or for people who have lost their eyelashes because of chemotherapy. For that and for those people, the new drug makes sense and I wouldn't object to its use. But when the commercial shows tall, beautiful women mingling at a party and batting their eyelashes at handsome men, you can't help but think that the whole point of the drug is for vanity purposes. If you use this drug, you will have full eyelashes and therefore you will be beautiful and you will be the center of attention. Show me a cancer patient in your commercial and your drug will be a little more noble and a lot less laughable. But, no, this is for women who are not quite beautiful enough because they don't have full lashes. So let's have them pay around $120 a month to make themselves feel beautiful. I suppose when pride and vanity are at stake and when pharmaceutical companies have dollars to make, who really cares? If you are not happy with yourself and what you were born with, when all else fails take a prescription drug.

I wonder if there is a prescription drug that will make me 5' 10"?

Family Values

It has been another busy week at work, so I'm going to try to catch up on some of the things that I've been meaning to post over the past few days. The big news stories of the week—before Michael Jackson's untimely death—were the adventures and antics of Mark Sanford, the Republican governor of South Carolina. After a "busy legislative session" he went missing and no one knew exactly where he went. This should have been the first clue that something was seriously wrong. If I disappeared after every busy week at work, well, I would never be found because every week is busy. And I would probably also be fired if I stopped showing up to work. But that is beside the point. Sanford disappeared and at first it was believed that he went for a hike, but as it turned out, that was a lie. He was, in fact, in Argentina visiting his mistress. Apparently he has known her for eight years and the two have been having an affair for the past year. Whenever something like this happens the questions of family values and the sanctity of marriage immediately come up.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am a democrat—as if there were any question. However I will be the first to admit that infidelity is not a problem only of the republican party. There have been quite a few democrats who have been caught with their pants down with someone who was not their spouse. In general I like to think that a politician's personal life and private escapades are irrelevant to their public service. I couldn't care less what they do in their bedrooms. What I care about is how they stand on the issues and what they do or are attempting to do to improve the lives of the people in their city, state, or nation.

So why is there such an uproar and outrage over Sanford's and other republicans' trysts? I think that it has to do with hypocrisy. This is supposed to be the party of morality, the party that preaches family values, the party that tries to protect the sanctity of marriage. So when these sanctimonious politicians fall from their pulpits, their hypocrisy is revealed in the brightest spotlight. Sanford is opposed civil unions and domestic partnership benefits, and when asked to address the issue of gay marriage he said that marriage is between one man and one woman. However in his personal life marriage is apparently between one man, one woman, and one mistress. For many people, monogamous and committed gay couples especially, Sanford's holier-than-thou preaching and actual actions are morally outrageous. This is someone who is denying an entire community of their rights while at the same time he abusing the very rights that he is fortunate to have. The cheating is bad enough, but the hypocrisy is worse.

Current mood: relaxed
Current music: Maroon 5 "If I Never See Your Face Again"

Changes

It has been a few days since the announcement came down at work about our summer furlough. Naturally the mood and morale in the office are fairly low right now. I think that everyone is starting to realize that we are getting paid less to do more work in what amounts to a shorter amount of time. It is difficult to accept, but, again, we have to look on the bright side, no matter how dim it might be, and recognize that we're all fortunate to still have jobs right now.

Right now things are a little more difficult in our department because two editors resigned. With them gone, the rest of us are picking up projects that they had to leave unfinished. In addition to this, new projects keep coming in. Within a few days, my own workload went from about 7 projects to 15. But I guess it is better to have too many projects rather than none at all, and I suppose having too much to do keeps me indispensable.

I am mostly sad this week because one of the people who left is a very good friend. We've worked together before at a previous job—my very first publishing job, in fact—and she was the one who did most of my training. I think I owe her a lot of credit for what I've done with my career over the past five years. But I'm losing more than a mentor; I'm losing an absolutely wonderful friend, one of my best friends. So it made me really sad to see her go and it was sad to say good-bye. But I'm happy to know that she is leaving us to do something more exciting, like getting married and moving to Australia. Heck, if I were in her position right now, I would quit and move out of the country too! It is nice to know that she is leaving to go on a wonderful new adventure, but I am still going to miss her.

However, in spite of losing one best friend at work, I'm lucky that the person who is going to replace her is another one of my best friends. We've also worked together before—the publishing world around here is very small!—so I'm looking forward to working with her again. We ruled the office at our previous job, so I assume that it won't take long before we rule this office. I'm looking forward to it!

Economy

I knew that sooner or later the state of the economy would eventually catch up to me and my company. Like almost every business out there, we are feeling the pinch of the bad economy. Publishing is one of those industries that generally does not do that well in a recession. Books are a luxury expense for most people, and when money is tight people don't buy books. They go to the library, which is great for the libraries, but not good for publishers. For the past few months our company has been doing a wonderful job to "tighten its belt"—to use a cliched phrase—and they have been doing everything possible to try to minimize the direct impact on the employees. I laud them for that. But I suppose this is something that you can do for only so long. The company has started to cut deeper. Yesterday morning we received a message from the director of operations of our office and she called an unannounced, all-hands, mandatory staff meeting. An office-wide staff meeting rarely happens spontaneously, so we all got the feeling that something serious was wrong. It turned out that the company has started to lay off employees and has instituted a summer furlough program. Employees were laid off throughout the company, but in our office we are losing only two people. It is possible that we would have lost more, but we recently have had people resign so most of these positions simply will not be replaced.

The summer furlough will last for the next three months. Everyone will be required to take six days of unpaid time off. Fortunately—I suppose—I was already planning on taking time off in late July, so I can use these furlough days to cover that time. I suppose the bright side is that I won't have to lose any vacation or personal days during that time, and I can save these days for my vacations at the end of the year. (And hopefully I still have a job at the end of the year!) But, these furlough days are still unpaid, and that is what really hurts. For the next three months, 9-10% will be deducted from every paycheck. For me that amounts to about $300-400 a month. That might not sound like a lot to some people, but when you already don't make a lot of money and when you are supporting yourself, that amount is still pretty big and I'll be feeling it. Unlike some of my friends, I don't have a spouse or significant other who is willing to pay my rent and all of my bills and tell me that I don't have to have a job if I don't want one and that I can just sit around looking beautiful. I'm not that lucky. Everyone I'm close to is poor, like me!

So this weekend, I definitely have to go through my "budget" to see what unnecessary expenses I can cut and figure out what I can do to save what little money I'm going to be making over the next few months. I am looking on the bright side, however, and trying to count the blessings that I still have. I feel bad for the people who were laid off, but I consider myself very fortunate to still have my job right now.

Current mood: frightened and stressed
Current music: iTunes on shuffle—Goo Goo Dolls "Let Love In"
Current drink: water. I can't exactly afford Cognac right now!

Birds

Things have been unusually quiet at my home over the past few days. On Tuesday after work, we had a special happy hour for two co-workers who will be leaving the company soon. I got home at about 9:30, did a few things around the house, and then went to bed. I woke up the next morning and it occurred to me that it was much quieter than it had been over the past few weeks. I didn't hear any chirping and I didn't hear any wild rustling in the wall. Then it also occurred to me that I didn't hear any rustling in the wall all night. When I came home from work later in the day, I still didn't hear any rustling or chirping. The birds, obviously, are gone. I'm wondering (and hoping) that the babies are simply big enough to fly and the bird family just flew away. But I also noticed that our gutters were recently cleaned, so it's possible that the maintenance staff saw the gaping hole in the side of the building where the nest was built. The hole, however, isn''t covered up. As much as I've been enjoying the peaceful sleep I've been getting over the past few nights, I'm still hoping that the birds weren't harmed or killed. Hopefully they flew away to another nest.

Weather, Update

We had some interesting and wonderful weather last night. We had a late afternoon thunderstorm, but the lightning and thunder were pretty mild and it rained for only 20 minutes or so. Things then cleared up and calmed down again, but a second storm blew in later in the evening. It was just starting to get dark and I was lying on the couch in my living room reading a book. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of lightning and then heard the thunder. Being one who loves lightning and thunder, I immediately put my book down and went out on the balcony to watch the storm. It turned out to be an incredibly wicked lightning and thunderstorm. The lightning wasn't just flashing behind the clouds, but you could actually see the bolts streaking across the sky. The storm was so powerful that I wasn't the only one outside watching it. I heard several other people on their patios or balconies shouting oos and ahs with each flash of lightning. It was as if we were watching a fireworks show on the Fourth of July. Unfortunately, though, the storm passed quickly. The lightning and thunder subsided and the clouds began to drift away revealing an almost full moon. It was an absolutely amazing and beautiful night.

Current mood: resting and relaxing
Current music: iTunes on shuffle—TATU "All the Things She Said"
Current drink: coffee

Weather

We've had quite a few strange turns of the weather lately. I think that when I last posted I was talking about thunder and lightning and afternoon or evening storms. Earlier this week, the weather has been pretty cloudy and gray. At one point a cold front moved in and the temperature got so chilly in the evening that I actually had to turn on my heater for the night. How often does that happen in June? After that one night, the temperature slowly started to return to normal. We're probably nowhere near as warm as we normally should be at this time of the year, but at least it is a little more normal that temperatures in the 50s or 60s. The air is just different, too. It's been humid. For those of you who haven't lived in or been to Colorado, it is usually bone dry. It is not a place that is known for its humidity, and even the slightest trace of humidity is something that we all immediately feel. Certainly it isn't like the humidity in back east or in the south. That humidity, as my friend once charmingly said, is like a solid. Having gone east for various business trips, the humidity was something that I immediately noticed. When you step out of the shower, you immediately feel as if you need another shower. When you walk out of an air conditioned building, the air does hit you like a solid. It is like you've walked into and surrounded yourself with some hot, heavy, wet drapes. Today I was hit with that feeling as I was leaving the office. It might not has been as severe as that, but you could definitely "feel" the air.

Current mood: relaxing after a busy week
Current music: iTunes on shuffle—Filter "Take a Picture"
Current drink: Corona

This and That, Weekend Edition

Work: As to be expected, the week back at work after a very long weekend was a difficult one. I had quite a bit of work to catch up on, I got a bunch of new projects, and things were immediately crazy and hectic. Though my long weekend was a wonderful one and though I was fully rested, the post-vacation afterglow didn't last long once I stepped into the office. But fortunately our summer hours have started, so we're now allowed to leave the office at 1:00 on Fridays. That is certainly something to be excited about.

Birds: The birds in my wall were up early this morning. At about 5:00 a.m. I started to hear a racket in my wall. They were chirping wildly, flapping about, and scratching at the wall. It's not exactly what I wanted to hear that early in the morning, but somehow I still managed to sleep a little longer.

Weather: Right now the weather is absolutely beautiful. It is about 70 degrees, sunny, a little breezy, and mostly clear but with some clouds over the mountains. If this weather holds up and if it doesn't rain, it looks like I'll be able to get in a walk this afternoon.

Current mood: rested
Current music: iTunes on shuffle—Aerosmith "Rag Doll"
Current drink: coffee

Day Off, Day Five

Today is the last day of my "vacation"/long weekend, and I decided to make the most of it. Naturally, I slept in and didn't roll out of bed until about 9:30. I did what I've been doing every morning for the past few days—took a long hot shower, made my breakfast, read the news, fiddled around on the computer, etc. At around 12:00 I was thinking about going out for a quick walk, but the clouds were gray and rolling in and I heard more thunder in the distance. I thought of maybe going out shopping for some groceries, but I didn't even want to do that. As lazy as I've been all weekend, even something as simple as going shopping seemed like too much of an effort, and I just wanted to continue being lazy. So I sat out on the balcony again and continued to read my book which I finally finished tonight.

We've been having a lot of rain and thunderstorms lately, and I'm sure that for many this would be considered horrible weather for a long holiday weekend. But for me it was perfect. For one, I just love thunderstorms. I love to watch them, to listen to them, and to feel them. And, two, the storms have allowed me to stay in and relax. Not that I couldn't have gone out in the storms, but there is just something cozy about enjoying a storm from home. For me, this weekend has been wonderful. It has been wonderfully lazy, peaceful, and quiet. I think that this is exactly what I've been needing for several months now.

Day Off, Day Four

It has been another quiet day. I slept in again and didn't do much in the morning other than have my breakfast and read the paper. A little before 1:00 I was thinking about going out for a walk again, but I heard some thunder in the distance. I decided that it would be better to stay in rather than get caught outside in the middle of a thunderstorm. I could have gone out to do some shopping, but I wasn't in the mood for that either, so I decided to just sit out on the balcony and read a book.

The thunder was a low rumble and it was coming with long pauses in between. The clouds were gray to the west and south, but things still seemed blue toward the east. I didn't see any lightning and it didn't seem like it was even going to rain, so I was doubtful that a storm would even materialize. But eventually more clouds rolled in and it got grayer and darker. At that point I could finally see the lightning flashing behind the clouds and the thunder started to come in at a quicker pace. Then, finally, it started to rain. Actually it was more of a drizzle and after about 20 minutes everything seemed calm again. But after some time had passed, the thunder started to rumble again, a little louder this time. Then it began to rain, and this time it lasted for a while.

Things have been calm for the past few hours. There are only a few dark gray clouds in the sky, but it doesn't seem like we'll have another storm this evening. We'll see.

Day Off, Day Three

I slept in again this morning and eventually rolled out of bed at about 9:00. I probably could have slept a little bit longer but the birds in my wall were wide awake. If there were eggs in the nest before, I think they finally hatched. The baby birds have been chirping wildly for the past few days and this morning was no exception. Now I definitely have to let them stay in their nest until they are ready to fly. And I am hoping that the wild chirping is because they are being fed. I'd hate to think that another mean, aggressive bird might be trying to take over the nest. So I suppose that I'll just have to live with them a little longer.

Once I was up, I took my shower, then made my breakfast—coffee, juice, and oatmeal. Then I drank more coffee, flipped through the newspaper, and fiddled around on the computer. The weather people have been predicting scattered and isolated rain all weekend, but at about 12:00 the weather was looking pretty nice. So, with the weather being reasonable, I decided to go out for another walk/halfhearted jog, only this time I jogged for a little longer. I came home, stretched, rested, had some lunch, and watched a little TV. Then I got a little bored with TV. (How is it that you can have almost 500 channels and not have anything good to watch? In addition to the cost of expanded cable services, the complete lack of anything good to watch is another reason why I've been thinking about cutting down on some of the services.) So I turned off the TV and decided to read a book instead. Imagine that! At about 5:00 I was hungry and ready for dinner, but being too lazy to cook anything elaborate, I just had a sandwich and some chips. Then I read a little bit more, and by 7:00 I started to hear thunder again. So I put down my book and sat out on the balcony and waited for the storm to come.

The storm seemed really distant at first and all I heard was thunder. I didn't see the lightning and it wasn't raining. But then, after about 30 minutes, I started to see the clouds lit up by lightning and the thunder was getting closer and louder. Some of it was so loud that it seemed to shake my balcony. It was lovely and wonderful. Then the rain finally started to fall, but it didn't last for long. After about 20 minutes I could already see blue skies to the south.

So, again, it was another restful and relaxing day. What is on the agenda for tomorrow? I'm not sure, really. I do need to go grocery shopping, but I expect to do a lot more relaxing.

Current mood: rested and relaxed
Current music: iTunes on shuffle—Melissa Etheridge "Enough of Me"
Current drink: Remy Martin VSOP

Day Off, Day Two

Today was my second day off and I started it out perfectly. I slept in and didn't roll out of bed until about 9:00. I started the coffee, then took a long hot shower, and then I was ready for my breakfast—coffee, orange juice, and Eggo waffles. I lounged around for most of the morning, drinking more coffee, and goofing off on the computer. At about 12:00 or 1:00 (I lost track of time!) and with the weather looking beautiful, I felt motivated to move a little bit, so I decided to take a nice long walk. The weather was wonderful—it was about 65 degrees and it was partly cloudy. The walk was brisk, and I even made some halfhearted efforts to jog a few times. The last time I ran seriously was a little over 15 years ago and back then I was living in California at around sea level. Running feels much different 15 years later and a mile higher. But, still, it felt pretty good. Even though I didn't run far or fast, I was proud of the fact that it didn't feel like my heart or lungs were about to explode. It would be nice if I could keep up this walking and halfhearted running routine. I bet I would be feeling better, eating better, and sleeping better. We'll see.

After my walk/halfhearted jog, I came home to rest a bit, then I had to go out to run some errands. Then I came home, relaxed a little bit more, watched some TV, then made my dinner. For most of the day the weather was beautiful. It was cloudy and cooler than the past few days, but it still felt wonderful. Then at about 7:30 it started to rain. Because my balcony is closed-in, I can sit on the balcony and enjoy the rain without getting wet. The rain was falling really hard, and then came the lightning and thunder. When I was younger, I used to be terrified of thunderstorms, but now I absolutely love them. We had a lot of lightning tonight and there was a steady rumble and crash of thunder. It was wonderful.

The storm lasted for about an hour, and now things are calm and quiet. You can feel the humidity in the air, and you can smell the wet grass and trees and leaves. So now I am back inside, and, with the exception of taking a moment to write this post, I'm sipping some cognac and relaxing. It's a wonderful and beautiful evening.

Current mood: rested and relaxed
Current music: iTunes on shuffle—Faith Hill "Breathe"
Current drink: Remy Martin VSOP Cognac